A very Fowl christmas
by House Mech
Summary: When a prank erupts from the christmas present given to Holly, everyone suspects Artemis of foul play. When Artemis tries to prove his innocence to her, she strikes back with an even better prank. The prank wars have begun... Post TLG
1. Chapter 1: A very delicious dinner

**Hello!**

**This chapter has updated so no more Holly not being ****vegetarian!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis fowl, if I did, I would currently be making the movie.**

The moon shone high in the sky Artemis hummed a merry christmas tune as he carefully wrapped his presents to his family, and more importantly, his present for Holly.

He finished the tune with a series of whistles and wrapped slightly faster than before.

His window suddenly flew open and cold wintery air gusted in, as well as a certain female LEPrecon captain.

"Hello Holly" greeted Artemis "Nice to see you."

"Same here."

Artemis quickly hid his present for Holly under his desk and speedily finished wrapping the rest of the presents.

Suddenly there was a knocking at the door.

Artemis hurriedly opened the door, on the other side was Butler.

"Artemis, your mother wants you to come down for dinner." Said Butler

Artemis nodded his head "Thank you Butler."

He then turned to Holly, "Shall we go down for dinner?"

"Sure." she replied cheerily.

Butler quickly walked down the stairs, probably hungry for Ms Fowl's cooking.

"I'm starving, what are we having?" Holly asked, just before exiting Artemis' study.

"I believe it is roast duck with mashed potatoes and gravy," He replied. "And maybe there was a plate of broccoli and a salad, I did not get a vey good look."

"Sounds very tasty." said Holly "I can almost taste it."

They both exited Artemis' study and headed down the stairs.

They did not notice a certain Myles and Beckett Fowl hiding under Artemis' bed.

Dinner was very lively with all the conversation, but the best part of it was the roast duck with the mashed potatoes.

Nobody could refrain from piling a ton on their plate, except Holly who only ate the salad, potatoes and broccoli.

Dessert was the absolute best, it was chocolate cake with a small portion of vanilla ice cream on top.

"Well that was one of the best dinners I have had in a long time" said Holly who enjoyed the very delicious salad, potatoes and broccoli.

"I have to agree." said Artemis.

Everyone else either nodded their heads or said "I agree as well."

"I believe it is time to retire." said Artemis and stood up from his chair, "Good night everyone."

"I think I shall sleep too." Agreed Holly.

"I'll escort you to your room then Holly."

They walked down a fairly long hallway and finally opened the door to her room.

It already had the suitcases she had brought a month earlier so it would not be a hassle when she came.

"Goodnight Holly."

"'night Arty."

'I really do not enjoy it when people call me that.' he thought to himself as he shut the door closed.

He walked up to his room and lay down on his bed and quickly fell asleep.

Little did he know that his present now sat on top of his desk.

'Perfect' thought one particular Myles Fowl.

**Sorry that this chapter was short but I'm slightly tired from today.**

**Anyway R&R my good readers!**

**-Housemech10**


	2. Chapter 2: A most cruel prank

**This is he updated chapter cause I am so very whizzed off that I made that mistake and it was bugging me like ants in my pants!**

**Ok, time for the updated chapter!**

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Artemis awoke to small feet jumping on his stomach.

"Get off, get off!" he cried in pain.

Myles and Beckett both hopped off his stomach.

"Wake up Artemis, it's christmas!" they yelled in unison.

He quickly sat up. "Alright, alright, I'm up!"

"Hooray!"

The twins dashed out of his room, probably to wake up their parents.

"Ugh" he moaned as he rubbed his sleep deprived eyes.

He walked towards his cabinet, quickly got dressed then stumbled over to his desk.

His present for Holly sat on top of his desk.

'Odd.' he thought 'I thought I put it under the desk.'

He quickly peek under the desk, but all he found were several boxes, that were clearly not wrapped.

He stood up and snatched the present on top of his desk from it's resting place, as well as the rest of the presents, and headed downstairs to the christmas tree.

After the seemingly endlessly long walk to the tree, he dumped the presents beneath it.

He stretched his tired arms. "Finally, thats over."

He sat down on a leather couch and awaited the others arrival.

About five minutes later, everybody sluggishly entered the living room.

Myles and Beckett ran around laughing and giggling for their presents.

The next ten minutes passed by in a blur as presents were shredded open and played with, every 10 seconds there was a "thank you!" or a "Hooray!" and sometimes even a "This was exactly what I wanted, thanks!"

Finally there was one present left.

Artemis reached over and peeked at the name tag, it was his present to Holly.

"Holly, this one is for you." said Artemis.

She reached out and gently took it from his hands, "Thanks."

She carefully ripped open the wrapping paper, and ever so slowly opened the box that contained her present.

As soon as the lid was removed from the box, a particularly large Jalapēno on a spring was launched at Holly's face.

Her eyes widened in surprise as the Jalapēno was forcibly ejected from the box.

"D'arvit." she swore.

SPLAT!

Everyone gasped in surprise.

Everyone froze as they waited for Holly's reaction.

Suddenly Holly shrieked in pain, "AHHHHGH SPICY!"

She began running around the living room like a complete maniac

"WATER!" She screamed and dashed into the bathroom.

"Miles and Beckett Fowl!" Artemis yelled, "Did you pull that prank?"

"No Artemis." they replied innocently

Holly came back several minutes later, the pain that was in her face previously was almost gone, although her eyes watered slightly.

"Thank you for the present Artemis." she said venomously.

Your...welcome" He said slowly.

She turned around and stormed off to her room.

When he looked back at his family, he found that they were all giving him angry or pissed off looks, save Myles and Beckett, who were playing with their new toys.

Angeline pointed a finger in the general direction of Artemis' room, signalling him to go there.

Artemis hung his head in shame and began the slow walk to his room.

Nobody could have noticed a giggling elf on Artemis' room's ceiling about to drop a pie on her unsuspecting victim.

**Cliffhanger!**

**This ****chapter has been updated thankfully, because I figured a Jalapēno was more funny. Heheheh.**

**How was this updated chapter? Good or bad?**

**Let me know in an updated review!**

**Updated...haha.**

**-Housemech10**


	3. Chapter 3: A Catapult of water balloons

**Hello my readers!**

**I am super happy that I have updated the last 2 chapters, that is the reason why I did not post on monday.**

**Anyway go check them out!**

**Ok, one more thing, I have currently run out of pranks so I need you, the readers, to give me prank ideas for the story!**

**Not too many pie involved ideas please, as I fear pies are too cliché.**

**Story time readers!**

A quiet snickering could be heard as Artemis tilted his head upwards.

His eyes widened in surprise as he saw a figure holding a pie on his room's ceiling, "Holly?"

The figure dropped the pie.

"Oh frond." breathed Artemis.

SPLAT

Holly nimbly dropped from the ceiling, while giggling, and dashed out of the room.

Artemis stumbled over to his desk and retrieved a handkerchief, he quickly wiped a bit of the pie from his eyes and was able to see Holly's foot just exit his room.

"I will get you back for this Holly." He grumbled as he continued to wipe the pie from his face.

Myles and Beckett dashed by his room, but stopped and did a double take.

"Is Artemis' face...?" asked Beckett.

"...Covered in pie?" Myles finished.

The twins then burst out laughing like maniacs, they rolled on the floor and tears were brought to their eyes.

"This means war..." muttered Artemis as he deposited the pie covered handkerchief into his trashcan.

He strode over to his bed and pulled from underneath a prank kit.

"...And I will win."

He walked out of his room and began to set up his new prank...

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About 5 minutes later Artemis had set up a rather amusing and cruel for the receiver prank.

He had attached a string to the knob to Holly's door, when she entered the string would activated a wooden catapult, invented by Artemis' himself, the catapult would launch five water balloons at Holly's face.

_This is gonna be great. _Thought Artemis.

He then dashed back to his room.

Holly stood up from the leather couch and started for her room.

_Come on, hurry up..._ Artemis pleaded in his head.

She slowly turned the doorknob on her room...

"What the-?!" Yelled Holly as she was pelted by the balloons.

_Objective complete. _Thought Artemis

He then heard a series of stomping and suddenly a sopping wet Holly appeared in front of him.

"Thanks a bunch, mud boy." she said and punched him in the face, hard.

Artemis stumbled as stars invaded his line of vision.

A loud Thwock! was heard as Holly's fist again impacted on his pale face.

_How many times will I be punched by Holly today?_ He wondered

In the end, he was punched about 170 times before Butler came into his study and stopped Holly from beating the crap out of him.

Butler carried Holly down the stairs and into her room, much like a parent would do with a bad child, then returned to Artemis' study.

"Thank you Butler." said Artemis.

"You are welcome." He rumbled in his gravelly tones, he then quickly left his study and returned downstairs.

Artemis rubbed his extremely bruised jaw and sighed.

_This is going to be a very long Holliday. _He thought to himself.

**Was this chapter okay?**

**I personally thought that it was slightly funny when Artemis was beaten in submission by Holly's fists of fury!**

**R&R my good readers!**

**-Housemech10**


	4. Chapter 4: The giant mutated watermelon

**Hey readers!**

**I really need some ideas here!**

**Cause I have finally caught the terrible disease known as Writer's block.**

**If you can give me a good amount of ideas, then maybe my writer's block will be cured!**

**okay on with the story!**

Holly sat on her spongy bed, fuming.

_How dare Butler interrupt my punching. _She thought angrily.

She twiddled her thumbs a bit to siphon off a bit of the anger boiling up inside her very person.

Suddenly, a light bulb shone brightly inside her head.

_Thank you lightbulb. _She thought as the lightbulb inside her head treated her to a great prank idea.

_Perfect. _She thought contentedly.

She reached into her pant's pocket and pulled out a fairy communicator, she then dialled Foaly's number...

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Around an hour later, a fairy transport pod arrived at Fowl manor.

Holly quickly opened up it's metal door and retrieved the items she asked Foaly to send, which happened to be a time-stop battery, a large strip of extra strong fairy rope, several stun grenades and finally, a genetically mutated, giant watermelon.

She carried the items inside the manor and quickly got to work on her next prank...

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Around two hours later, Holly had set up one of the most awesome pranks ever; She tied the fairy rope to Artemis' doorknob, on the inside doorknob to be precise, as soon as he opened it, the genetically mutated giant watermelon would be hurled out of Artemis' wooden catapult and smack him in the face, sending him falling down the stairs, when he arrived on the bottom step, Holly would detonate the time-stop battery, trapping Artemis in there for a day, with the stun grenades.

Holly hid next to the staircase and waited for Artemis' arrival...

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Five minutes later, Artemis ran up the staircase and headed for his room, he turned the doorknob and suddenly, the genetically mutated giant watermelon was flung from his catapult into his face.

"What the CENSORED?!" he yelled as he started to tumble down the stairs with the giant watermelon stuck on his pale head.

After a quite painful tumble down the stairs, Artemis came to rest exactly where Holly had planned him to land.

She quickly placed the stun grenades around Artemis in a perfect circle and set the delay on them for two minutes, she then activated the time-stop battery and quickly stepped back.

Suddenly a blue ball of energy with flowing runes in gnommish enveloped Artemis.

Silence filled the area where Holly stood.

5 seconds passed, then the blue ball dissipated, Artemis stood in his ruined suit, in the centre of the blue ball, looking very, very, very pissed off.

Large watermelon strips were everywhere.

His eyes were very bloodshot and red watermelon stains were almost everywhere in his hair.

He gave Holly one more extremely evil eye and stormed off to his room, probably to have a very long shower.

Holly then broke the silence by laughing uncontrollably.

She rolled on the ground over and over and big fat tears were brought to her eyes.

"That was the best prank ever!" she cried as she laughed hard.

She then crawled to her room, still laughing and had a good long nap.

**Oh my, I feel bad for Artemis. His suit is ruined!**

**So expect Holly to have some big fat prank hit her hard in the face next time!**

**GIVE ME PRANK IDEAS D'ARVIT!**

**Until next time my good readers!**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant robot house with a big, fat 10 on all the windows, who writes stories.****  
**


	5. Chapter 5: A snowball fight, and red dye

**Before I go saying "Story time readers!", Let me apologize for updating this story so late.**

**I had a particularly nasty blood test in which I fainted for the first time, then I became sick, I was nauseated the whole night ****Okay, so anyway, Im really very sorry that I did not update a whole lot.**

**Anyway, Story time my good readers!**

**Oh yes, I have to thank all of you for reviewing on my story, and special thanks to Bravo for the prank idea, I have altered the prank slightly though.**

**Oh yeah, good pranks are hard to come by these days, but thanks for giving me ideas!**

**Oh yes, one more thing, *Avoids a rotten tomato***

**Never mind, Story time readers!**

_This is going to be the best prank ever! _Thought Artemis in joy as he ran to the washroom.

He threw open the the half closed door and reached into his pocket which contained A bar of red dye, disguised as a bar of shower soap, and a grape sized camera with a speaker on it.

He placed the the grape sized camera on the beige stone wall facing the shower and placed the dye-soap in the shower and quickly removed the real soap.

He then ran out of the bathroom and towards his room, there, he turned on his computer and remotely activated the grape sized camera.

_Now we wait. _He thought contentedly.

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Holly was taking a long walk in the snow covered woods that partially surrounded Fowl manor.

She wore an emerald green coat, that was extremely warm, thin black snow pants and an emerald green toque, to shield her pointed ears from the cold.

Suddenly, she was hit by a small ball of snow in the leg.

"Ow!" she cried.

She rubbed her slightly sore leg while she looked around to spot the source of the attack, when suddenly another snowball smacked her directly in the back of her head.

"Ow!" she yelled slightly louder.

She spun around and saw a small black boot dash behind some trees.

_Now I've gotcha.._ She thought as she dashed to the tree the black boot hid behind.

She jumped around the tree and saw Beckett clutching another snowball.

_Uh oh_ She thought.

"Eeek!" Beckett cried as he chucked the snowball he carried at Holly's face.

_D'arvit _She thought as the tightly packed snowball exploded in a flurry of wintery snow.

She fell in a heap into the calf deep snow.

Beckett started to run away shrieking like crazy when Holly grabbed his ankle.

"Now I've got you." she growled and shoved his face into the snow.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Beckett laughed and cried as he squirmed around, desperately trying to free himself from Holly's strong grip.

Suddenly, another snowball impacted on Holly's back.

She jumped up and looked at the area the attack came from.

Myles was sitting in a 10 foot tall tree, his black leather gloves clutching a particularly nasty looking snowball.

Myles threw the snowball at Holly, who dived into the snow, which buried her entirely.

"Where did she go?" asked a curious Beckett who started to cautiously walk away from where the elf dove into the snow.

Myles shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno."

Suddenly a snowball smashed against Myles back and sent him on a small drop into the deep snow.

"AHG!" He screamed and made a Myles sized hole of snow in the ground.

Several more snowballs emerged from the tree line and smacked Beckett and a now buried Myles repeatedly.

"Ow, Ow, Ow!" they screamed in chorus.

Then, Holly popped out of the snow next to Beckett and Myles and shoved at least 20 snowballs into their small faces.

"AHHH!" they yelled in unison.

She then dove back down into the snow and tunnelled her way to the front door of Fowl manor.

_Heheheh _She cackled inside of her head.

She climbed up the stone steps up to the door, quickly shook off the layers of snow stuck to her coat, and stepped inside the manor.

She quickly removed her coat, snow pants, hat and boots, then after brushing a layer of sweat from her auburn hair, decided she would have a shower.

She walked to the bathroom, the one Artemis put the camera in, then turned on the hot water.

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As soon as Holly entered the bathroom, Artemis shut off the camera part of his grape sized camera and speaker machine, (Because Artemis is not a pervert, thank goodness.) and turned on the audio...

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Around twenty minutes later, Holly stepped out of the shower, quickly grabbed a towel and began to dry herself off.

She then got dressed in casual clothes and hung up her towel.

Only when she stepped in front of the steamy mirror did she notice something was wrong

"WHAT THE-?" she screamed as she examined her now very red skin.

She spun around to the shower and looked at the soap she used and saw it was red, very red.

"ARTEMIS!" She yelled in anger.

"I see you have fallen for my trap, Holly." said a most smug voice.

Holly turned towards the source of the sound and saw the small grape sized machine.

She stomped over to it and almost smashed it to microscopic pieces when Artemis' voice emanated again from it.

"Muahahahaha" said Artemis in a mock tone.

_Thats it. _Thought Holly and brought her red fist down on the small machine.

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Artemis' computer screen went dark as the machine was destroyed rather violently by Holly.

_Red really does suit her now, _Thought Artemis, _Red is the __colour of rage and anger._

He then heard a rather loud stomping coming from the stairs.

_Oh sweet Frond. _Thought Artemis in horror.

Holly burst into his study, with murder in her eyes.

"Fowl!" She screamed as lunged at Artemis.

Artemis was then beaten into submission by Holly's furious fists.

_I said this before, _Thought Artemis, _This will be a very, very long holiday._

After an hour of being punched in the face, Holly was once again dragged back to her room by Butler.

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5 minutes later, Butler entered Artemis' study.

"What did you do now Artemis?" he asked.

Artemis turned away from his computer, "Did you notice her skin was red?"

"Yes" Butler replied.

"Thats what I did." said Artemis.

**Wow long chapter!**

**How was this chapter my good readers?**

**I wonder how much of a face Artemis has left after being punched so many times.**

**R&R readers!**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant house robot with tens on all of the windows who writes stories.**


	6. Chapter 6: A walk in the woods, ends bad

**Sorry readers if it has been a little while since I updated.**

**I have caught a cold from my little sister and side then, my right eye has been watering.**

**Oh yeah, today is tuesday, and tonight is my Karate testing, Im scared!**

**One or two more things, Our plasma screen TV got re-installed into out upstairs living room now, so my entire family can watch movies upstairs!**

**Oh yeah, my brain is slightly agitated from today because the whole time I was at home sick, the plasma screen TV was blaring music from "Les misérables" so I am slightly agitated from listening to classic music the whole day, I mean, I really like "Les misérables" but when its on for the entire stinking day, I get a bit agitated.**

**Anyway, time for the story!**

_Oooh, _Thought Holly _I am so going to get Artemis back for dyeing my skin red_

She thought about her next prank to pull on Artemis in her very comfortable and beautiful room somewhere inside Fowl manor.

She paced around on the wooden floor about seventeen times before coming to a conclusion.

_Am I ever going to come up with a prank? _She wondered in annoyance, _Why must good pranks come in such short supply these days?_

She paced around the room a couple more times before finally thinking of a prank.

"I've got it!" She declared and snapped her small elfin fingers.

She dashed out of her room and began to gather supplies for her next prank...

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The night fell upon Fowl manor as Holly finally completed thinking of what she would do for her prank.

Since Artemis takes nighttime walks every single day of the christmas holidays, Holly decided that she would dress up in a werewolf costume, since Artemis was quite a bit freaked out by them, ever since the werewolf incident, (See a most frightening Halloween!) She dashed into the woods where Artemis always went for his walks during the night.

She slipped on the furry costume and waited...

XxXxXxXxXx

Artemis stepped outside his beloved manor home, and walked slowly towards the woods, marvelling at the sights the world around him had to offer.

The snow crunched nicely under his black boots as he grew ever closer to the snow covered trees.

Suddenly, as he just passed the first tree, a large brown and furry creature jumped at him from the top of a tree to his right.

Artemis gazed at the creature as it fell towards, he didn't move a single muscle.

Then he took a few slow steps to his left.

The creature smashed into the snow and made a noise that oddly sounded like "Ow!"

"Holly?" Asked Artemis.

"The one and only." She grumbled and removed the head cap.

"Well that did not really work out." said Artemis smugly.

She slowly removed the rest of the costume and was left in her emerald coat, toque and black boots.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that you would know that I was in the costume?" she replied angrily.

Suddenly, they both heard a harsh snarling from their left.

"Artemis, w-what was t-that?" Holly asked in fear.

"I don't know, and I suggest we get back to the manor as quickly as possible."

Suddenly, a Butler sized wolf jumped from the trees, snarling like crazy.

"AGGGHHH!" Artemis and Holly screamed together and ran like maniacs towards the manor.

Then, the wolf's front paws moved toward its head and removed it, revealing that the giant wolf, was no more than Butler in disguise.

"Heheheheh."he laughed quietly then made a slow walk back to the manor.

**A new force joins the battle, Butler!**

**Just kidding, well actually i dunno, give me feedback on Butler joining in on the prank wars!**

**Oh yes, sorry that I kinda removed the christmas spirit form this chapter and replaced it with halloween spirit but I had a good idea that I had to do.**

**Read**

**Review**

**Butler pranks**

**Reference to some other author.**

**Hahah.**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant House robot with big fat 10s on all of the ****windows who writes stories.**


	7. Chapter 7: Holly's sugar rush

**Hi guys!**

**How was the last chapter?**

**Okay, so I was browsing through the Artemis Fowl fandom and I actually found a lot of good stuff for ideas, so now my writer's block is cured!**

**Oh yeah, I have to tell you an idea I had for a story.**

**Credit for the prank idea goes to one of Animeroxursox's stories, not going to say the name cause Im too lazy.**

**Okay enough chit-chat, story time!**

**Warning: prank idea does involve a hyper character caused by sugary sweets**

_Think Artemis, think, you need a new prank idea _Thought Artemis, _What could be a good prank?_

Artemis mentally scolded himself for not being able to think of a prank idea, why did thinking of pranks have to be so hard?

Suddenly, a light bulb exploded into brightness inside of Artemis' head.

_Thank goodness that lightbulbs exist _He thought as the bright lightbulb treated him to a cinematic rendering of the idea

The movie that played inside his brain showed a cartoon version of himself giving a cartoon version of Holly several bags of candy, then saying "I'm sorry for pranking you.", then the cartoon Holly ate the candy, causing her to go very very hyper, while the cartoon Artemis rolled on the floor laughing at the cartoon Holly's crazy actions.

The lightbulb movie ended and Artemis scratched his head in confusion.

_How in the world would that end well? _He wondered, he then remembered the terrible experiences he had with children that had too much candy.

He shuddered.

_I suppose I could give it a try_ He thought and started speed walking towards his twin brother's room.

He peeked in, and saw nobody inside.

_Thank goodness _He thought and stepped inside.

He reached under Beckett's bed and took a smallish amount of candy from the bag he always kept there, incase he had a sugar attack.

_Phase one complete _Thought Artemis and dashed back to his bedroom.

He dumped the candy in a small white silk bag and hurried down the stairs.

As soon as he reached the bottom floor, he looked around and was relieved to see Holly, sitting on the leather couch reading a book.

He rushed over.

"Holly, I'm really very sorry that I have pranked you so much, please accept my apology." he said and held out the bag containing the candy.

Holly eyed the bag suspiciously, "How do I know that this won't be another one of your pranks?"

"Because I am apologizing." he replied.

Holly gave the bag one more suspicious glance, then snatched it out of Artemis' pale hands.

She slowly opened the silk bag, suddenly her eyes widened in surprise.

_Candy! _She thought in joy, as she did enjoy human candies a LOT.

**(Author's note: I wonder how the lightbulb knew that?)**

She stood up from the leather couch, while still clutching her book and her new bag of candy, and zipped back to her room.

Artemis literally felt a gust of wind go by as she zoomed back to her room.

"Whoa." He said aloud.

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In about 20 seconds the smallish amount of candy inside the silk bag was devoured by Holly.

Suddenly, she felt her entire being start to vibrate violently

"Uhoh," Said Holly, "LookslikeI'mabouttogettheSUGARRUSH!" **(Can you even read that?)**

She blasted out of her room and all hell broke loose.

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Artemis was walking back to his room when Holly, smashed into his stomach.

"OOF!" He cried.

"HiyaArtythanksforthecandy,everythingisfastnow!" Holly almost yelled as she quickly stood up and started to spin around in fast circles.

_Oh my, _Thought Artemis, _This might not end well._

Holly was literally bouncing off the walls, crashing into everything and wrecking it.

Artemis ducked as Holly almost crashed into his slim frame, "Holly stop this right now!"

Holly then did exactly what he said.

Then she yelled at him, "NOIWILLNOTSTANDSTILLBECAUSEY OUARENOTTHEBOSSOFME!"

Then she started running around again.

_Ugh__, _He thought and rubbed his temples.

Suddenly, Holly crashed into his chest again, sending him sprawling to the ground, then immediately began punching him at a rapid fire pace.

"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIED IEIDEDIEIDE!" She yelled.

She then dashed away from Artemis and continued running around destroying things in a sugar rush rage.

Artemis scratched his head in utter confusion, "Did that just happen?"

He stood up, then walked over to the leather couch, sat down and waited for Holly's sugar rush to die down.

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Around an hour later, Holly finally ran out of sugar rush steam.

Actually, not only did she run of sugar rush steam, she ran out of energy entirely.

She was running as fast as ever when, suddenly she felt very, very lethargic, she then fell to her knees in total weakness

She crawled her way over to the couch collapsed into Artemis' lap and pretty fell asleep immediately.

"Wow, that was fast." exclaimed Artemis.

He stood up, while carrying Holly and walked towards her room.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Yeah, that chapter is done!**

**I have written a second chapter so I will upload it a few minutes after this one!**

**-Housemech10**


	8. Chapter 8: Butler and Juliet's prank

**Hey readers!**

**READ THIS: I have posted 2 chapters today so read them!**

**How was the last chapter?**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Thanks bravo for the idea of Butler teaming up with Juliet!**

******Butler and Juliet will come in now...**

"Come on brother, hurry up!"

Juliet Butler and her brother Domovoi Butler, were currently climbing a 6 meter tall tree, while carrying 100 snowballs in their large pockets.

"Yes Juliet, I am coming." Butler rumbled in his gravelly tones.

They continued to climb the very tall tree, they then stopped and each sat on a thick branch.

They had hours before given Artemis and Holly an invitation to come to the location directly below the large tree.

Artemis' invitation had stated:

_Please come to the tall extremely tree near Fowl manor._

_-Holly_

While Holly's invitation stated the same thing except for name below was Artemis.

Juliet and Butler then heard the sound of boots crunching towards the tree.

"They are coming." whispered Juliet

Artemis appeared next to the tree first, then a few seconds later, Holly appeared.

They both seemed to be in an angry conversation.

Juliet nodded at Butler who nodded back.

They both leapt from the tree and streaked towards the very snowy ground.

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"What are you doing here?" Yelled Holly.

"I was going to ask you the same question!" Artemis yelled in return.

Holly stomped her foot, "Well then you answer first!"

"I was invited here by an invitation!"

Holly did a double take, "R-Really?"

"Yes!" Artemis yelled

Holly started shaking, "Well, then this might be bad."

"Why?" Demanded Artemis.

"I also received an invitation to this location."

Artemis shuddered in fear, "Uh oh."

Suddenly, two figures landed next to them, one of them being Butler sized and the other, Juliet sized.

The figures reached into their pockets and drew out a ton of snowballs and chucked them at Artemis and Holly.

"Ack!" they cried and fell into the waist high snow.

Snowball after snowball was thrown through the air towards the pale human and the pointed eared elf.

After the both the figure's snowball supply had run out, they both started running towards Fowl manor.

Artemis slowly stood up and brushed the snow off of his grey winter coat.

Holly pushed herself out of the slightly sticky snow and stood up.

"Who was that?" She asked.

Artemis gave her a short glance then went back to brushing the layers of snow off of his coat. "I would guess that those people were actually Butler and Juliet."

"Hmm"

They slowly began walking towards the manor, probably to devise their next prank.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Boom another chapter done, sorry that this chapter was short, but 2 chapters in one day, thats a bit much for me.**

**-Housemech10**


	9. Chapter 9: BFW (Big F-ing water gun)

**Whoa! So many reviews!**

**Thanks to all of you for reviewing!**

**Thanks for all the fans who have stayed and ****read this story!**

**I shall now list the names of those who reviewed because you guys are awesome:**

**D Tull**

**Holly C fowl **

**Tawny**

**Kaitykat24**

**Juliegirl22**

**Artemisfowl18**

**Terrance**

**HolidayBoredom**

**Wrothmonk**

**Fairyfinder**

**Bravo**

**Liam**

**Thanks for all the positive/constructive feedback, they are pretty much one of the few things that keep me writing!****  
**

**Oh yeah, D tull, the idea of Myles and Beckett joining in on the prank wars is awesome, I was actually thinking of adding them, I just need a few great idea for pranks for them to pull, perhaps one that involves the entire ****group, then they run for their lives as they get chased by Artemis, Holly and Juliet, Although Butler is reasonable and would not chase them, thank goodness.**

**Another thing, I have something to say to the reviewer of my story named "Liam"**

**First of all, Thank you for pointing that out.**

**Secondly, isn't Fanfiction made for blooming authors to share their "own" writing with the world?**

**That is all.**

**Here is the not so long awaited chapter! (I think)**

Small easy pranks like whoopee cushions on chairs were easy to think of.

However, great pranks involving something hilarious like the giant genetically mutated watermelon were hard to come by.

Artemis was deep in thought trying to think of a great prank, something that had, style, humour and more importantly, humiliation.

Of course, good pranks always were hard to think of, even when you were a juvenile genius.

However, Artemis was not your typical juvenile genius.

He had brains that could have beaten that of Einstein, five of them to be exact.

Complex mathematics were flowing throughout his head as he calculated which trajectory things had to be launched and such for his next awesome prank.

Suddenly, he heard a large "Bang!" emanating from outside his room.

He quickly rushed outside and saw Holly, carrying what had to be the biggest water-gun in the world, about to fire a round from the giant plastic behemoth.

His eyes comically widened in shock, "Oh sweet mother of pea-"

The water came fast and painfully hard, Artemis was thrown to the end of the hallway, and very painfully smashing into the wall.

Then his vision blurred, "Ohh..." he moaned and crashed to the ground.

He heard small and quick footsteps rushing towards him, then suddenly felt a lot better than he had a few moments before.

"Can't have a good prank war if one of the combatants is too bashed up." he heard Holly say.

Artemis cracked open an eye a slight bit and saw a couple blue sparks dancing around in his line of view.

Then, he saw small feet walk slowly towards the stairs, not before stopping to pick up the giant water-gun.

"Uhhhgg..." he moaned again and ever slowly stood up.

Suddenly, he heard a loud scream and an even louder "Ooof!".

He rushed to the stairs and saw at the bottom, Holly being smothered by a large sandbag.

"Hey mud boy," She called, "do you mind in getting me out of here?"

Artemis raised a brow, "Do you honestly think I would help you after what terror you put me through?"

Holly gave an angry puff, "Oh come on, I healed you didn't I?"

Artemis considered this for a moment before saying, "Alright, but just this once."

He rushed down the stairs and proceeded to help Holly lift what seemed like the heaviest sandbag ever to Artemis.

After around 5 minutes of painful lifting, the giant sandbag was off of the elf.

"Was that you who dumped this sandbag on me?" She demanded.

Artemis pointed a finger at himself, "Who, me? I could not even lift that thing."

The elf sighed, "If it wasn't you then who?"

Suddenly they felt a large shadow looming over them.

"Uh oh" they both said in unison.

Suddenly the world went dark for the elf and the pale teenager as they were forcibly shoved in large leather sacks.

Artemis struggled to free himself, but the sack was then tied together by a piece of rope.

XxXxXxXxXx

Around 10 minutes later, the leather sacks containing Artemis and Holly were dumped into snow, somewhere deep in the forest that surrounded Fowl manor.

A large "Whumph!" was then heard and suddenly a large pile of snow covered Artemis, in a few moments the same thing happened for the elf.

_This could be Butler pulling a prank or some enemy come to kill us _Thought Artemis.

Artemis struggled to pry open the sack, but in a few seconds time, gave up.

The rope binding the sack shut was way too strong for his weak arms.

He heard a series of large footsteps leave from the area that the teen and elf now occupied.

A loud snapping sound was also then heard, as well as some grumbling and swearing of the word "D'arvit"

Suddenly the snow was removed from his sack that effectively trapped him, then the rope that efficiently bound the sack tightly shut was quickly snapped and light flooded the small area where Artemis resided.

"Coming mud boy?" asked Holly, for of course it was she.

Artemis slowly climbed out of the sack and looked around in confusion.

"Exactly where are we?" he asked

Holly's brow shot up,"I thought that was supposed to be your department."

"I have not explored every area of the forest, and this is one of the areas that I have not explored."

Suddenly, Holly pointed towards a trail of footprints in the snow, "Hey what's that?"

"Perhaps it is a trail to the manor." said Artemis

"Well then lets get following it!" Holly cried.

XxXxXxXxXx

Around half an hour later, the duo ended up on the doorstep of Fowl manor, cold and hungry.

"I'm beginning to get the idea that this was just a cruel prank." said Artemis

Holly's eyebrow once again shot up, "Ya think?"

The entered the manor and were immediately greeted to a lot of warmth and the smell of hot chocolate.

They almost fainted right there.

Artemis quickly closed the door and then the cold from outside immediately stopped.

Butler walked up to them with a tray of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

"Would you like a hot chocolate?" he asked

Artemis and Holly greedily grabbed a glass of hot chocolate, "Yes!" they both cried.

"Did you enjoy your time outside?" asked Butler innocently.

The pale teen and elf both gave Butler a withering glare, "You put us there didn't you?" they asked at the same time.

Butler couldn't resist a chuckle.

XxXxXxXxXx

**If you are wondering how Butler got from the manor to the location so fast, it's ****cause Butler is just a Boss.**

**Okay, so possibly Myles and Beckett could join next chapter, and ****maybe something would happen and cause Artemis and Holly to team up!**

**Because then it would be fair, Butler and Juliet Vs Artemis and Holly Vs Myles and Beckett.**

**The world shall end when this prank war starts...**

**So anyway, how was this chapter?**

**Good or bad? Gimme feedback!**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant house robot with big 10s on all the windows who writes stories.**


	10. Chapter 10: The siege tower

**Hey readers!**

**I am attempting to post a chapter the day after I post a really long chapter, its kinda hurting my brain.**

**So anyway, onto business, I have decided to have maybe 5 more chapters including this one, then I will end this story and commence another story.**

**Pranks are needed badly thank you very much.**

**Oh well, enough chatter, story time!**

If you were to look at the backyard of Fowl manor, you would see many large lumps in the extremely deep snow.

These lumps were actually tunnels, they ran between the manor, to the large forest that surrounded most of Fowl manor.

These tunnels belonged to Myles and Beckett Fowl, of course.

They used the tunnels as a means of sneaking things out of the house.

To be exact, sneaking prank materials out of the house.

At this moment, Myles was using the tunnel that ran to the forest, he was carrying a large bag, filled with wooden materials, string and screws, nails bolts and glue.

Beckett was awaiting his arrival at the end of the tunnel in their large base of operations, made entirely from snow.

Inside this base were several large contraptions and items such as catapults, a machine gun that fired snowballs and finally, a huge supply of snowballs.

Myles finally entered the ginormous base.

"Hurry Myles, we need to build the siege tower!" cried Beckett

Myles rolled his eyes, "We have several days to build it, we don't need to rush."

The twins were currently trying to build a large siege tower, so then they could win any snowball war at all, and also attack unsuspecting victims.

Beckett ran over, grabbed Myles' coat and shook him back and forth violently, "We need to build it now!"

"Why?" asked Myles, "What's the rush?"

"I looked over the hill and saw Arty and the elf girl building a humongous snow castle!" said Beckett, putting the emphasis on 'humongous'

Myles' eyes widened in shock, "Show me."

XxXxXxXxXx

Around a minute later, the twins were standing on a small snowy hill, watching Artemis and Holly building what looked like the biggest snow castle ever.

"Oh, my, goodness." said Myles.

Beckett pointed at the castle, "Now do you see why we need to build the tower?"

"Yup."

XxXxXxXxXx

Around 3 hours later, a large wooden siege tower emerged from Myles and Beckett Fowl's base.

The siege tower was too large to be pushed by the boys, so Myles invented a rather complex system of gears and pulleys to make the tower move.

The tower of course was stocked to the brim with snowballs, Beckett even went as far as to fetch a couple catapults, loaded with giant snowballs.

Myles and Beckett readied their giant arsenal of devastating weaponry at the hill where they could see the snow castle, which was now almost done.

Myles ran quickly attached a rope from the siege tower to each of the catapults.

The twins then hopped onto the siege tower.

"CHARGE!" they cried in unison, Myles then engaged the pulley system on the tower, which shot the tower forward, pulling along each and everyone of the catapults.

XxXxXxXxXx

Artemis was adding the finishing touches to the castle walls when suddenly he heard a large rumbling.

He ran over to Holly, who was also trying to finish up the castle walls.

"Do you hear that?" he asked

Holly cupped a hand to her ear, "Yes I do actually."

They ran over to the entrance of the castle and saw Myles and Beckett's army of catapults and one siege tower rushing towards them.

"Oh d'arvit." they said in unison.

They rushed back inside the castle and each grabbed a couple snowballs from the large pile that Holly had made while Artemis was beginning to make the castle walls.

Suddenly, the rumbling stopped.

Artemis looked up in the sky in worry, wondering what terror shall the arsenal rain upon them.

Then, Artemis saw what looked like a watermelon sized snowball flying towards the castle.

"Get down!" he cried and jumped into the snow.

Holly looked up and saw several more giant snowballs headed towards them.

"D'arvit." she swore and jumped under the snow with Artemis.

The snowballs dug large impact craters in the snow and harshly damaged the wall.

The pale teenager and the elf peeked out from the snow and were greeted with the sight of one of their castle walls come crashing down.

The cause of the wall breaking, was of course, Myles' large siege tower.

The large tower slowly advanced into the inner portion of the castle.

"Myles?!" cried Artemis in confusion.

"Fire!" cried the infant and chucked a snowball at Artemis.

The small fist sized snowball exploded on Artemis face and coating him in a fine powdery snow.

Suddenly, several more giant snowballs crashed down on the castle, one nearly hitting Artemis.

Holly jumped out from beneath the snow, grabbed her neutrino from her pocket, (Which she always kept there) and fired at the giant snowballs in the air, the snowballs erupted into a large explosions of snow which lightly showered Artemis and Holly.

Artemis popped out also and charged towards the siege tower, he jumped onboard and began climbing.

"Uh oh" said Myles and desperately tried to put the reverse on the siege tower.

Then, the tower went backwards at a breakneck speed.

Artemis then saw the pulleys that were making the tower of sieging move.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a snowball, he jammed the snowball in the network of pulleys, and they ceased to move.

The siege tower immediately stopped, then started tilting backwards.

"AHHGG!" screamed Myles as he fell backwards off the siege tower and into the snow.

Artemis lightly hopped off the tower as it fell and started walking towards Beckett, who was controlling the catapults.

A large smashing noise signified that the tower had fallen and broken.

Beckett who did not notice Artemis coming, continued to operate the catapults that launched giant snowball after giant snowball.

Artemis reached into his pocket again and pulled out a second snowball and chucked it at the back of Beckett's head.

"Oww!" he howled and collapsed on the ground.

Artemis then casually walked back to the half destroyed snow castle, to find Holly casually repairing everything.

He clapped his hands together, "Let's get back to work."

XxXxXxXxXx

**And thats it!**

**If you are wondering why Artemis and Holly worked together to build that giant snow castle, well they made up and now they are not angry with each other anymore!**

**So now commences the battle of the century.**

**Artemis and Holly have their base of operations which is a giant snow castle.**

**Myles and Beckett's base is under 5 feet of snow.**

**Butler and Juliet's base of operations has yet to be revealed.**

**R&R my good readers**

**P.S. If my ****sentences are slightly jumbled in the story, feel free to tell me.**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant House robot with tens on all the windows who writes stories.**


	11. Chapter 11: The snow war Part 1

**Oh. Sweet. Mother. Of. Pearl.**

**I'm only going to say this once, as loud as I possibly can on Fanfiction.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!**

**Now that that's out of my system, I can get on with business, so...**

**I will respond to some reviews personally.**

**Anyway, Bravo, thank you a heaping ton, for posting those reviews, I was literally frozen in happiness when I read them.**

**Holly C Fowl, Thanks for pretty much always reviewing, when I'm down, they can always cheer me up.**

**D Tull, It always makes me happy when you review, you have stayed with the story pretty much from the beginning, so thanks a lot!**

**Yeah, thats it.**

**Anyway, I'm so glad that christmas is right around the corner, and I probably will be getting an Xbox 360, so now I can play with my Friend even when he isn't in town!**

**Okay, I feel that I have spoken a tad much, therefore, ON WITH THE STORY!**

"FIRE!"

Snowballs the size of two steaks combined were catapulted through the air towards a snow castle.

The snow castle happened to belong to a human teenager named Artemis Fowl and an Elf named Holly short.

The snowballs belonged to the twins, Beckett and Myles Fowl.

The four of them had resumed their snow war once again after several hours, the twins had happened to construct several more catapults in such short time, and Myles even built a working medium sized pedal powered car, with an automatic mini snowball catapult in the back.

Artemis and Holly were losing the snow war, sadly as they only had one super awesome LEP captain, and one weak-ish pale teenager.

But of course, anything can happen when a Neutrino 5000 blaster is added into the mix.

Holly scaled the large snow wall of the snow castle and fired three shots at different catapults, which exploded into giant splintery messes.

Several more giant snowballs were launched from the remaining catapults and quickly obliterated a small section of the snow castle's wall.

Holly continued to blow up catapult after catapult when suddenly twenty snowballs pelted her face, she quickly fell in a heap into the waist deep snow.

Grumbling, she emerged from snow, and plucked a special type of grenade from her pocket.

The grenade happened to be snow grenade, a type of grenade that Holly herself had asked/begged Foaly to build for her trip to Fowl manor.

She dashed outside the castle and dashed towards the source of the snowballs pelting her, which happened to be Myles' wooden snowball attack vehicle.

Myles aimed the car directly at Holly, who was immediately pelted by several more snowballs, which happened to be regular size thank goodness.

The elfin captain leapt into the air and quickly landed on the medium sized attack vehicle.

"Eeek!" screeched Myles who instantly jumped out of the wooden contraption and dived into the snow.

Holly stuck the grenade on the back of the wooden car, and quickly hopped off and made a mad dash away.

Snow forcibly exploded from the snow grenade, quickly enveloping the car and breaking the automatic snowball launcher.

"Best. Grenade. Ever!" cried Holly.

XxXxXxXxXx

While Holly was being a plain bad-ass, Artemis was doing something else.

He was tunnelling through the snow, disabling the catapults one by one.

As he approached the last catapult, which was being operated by Beckett.

He popped his hand out of the snow and grabbed Beckett's ankle, quickly pulling him under the snow screaming.

He shoved a snowball in the small boy's face, effectively silencing him.

Artemis jumped out of the deep snow and shoved a snowball in the catapult's inner workings.

The catapult ceased to work.

Beckett chose this very moment to pop out of the snow carrying two very nasty looking snowballs.

_Uh oh _thought Artemis.

Beckett threw the snowballs as hard as he could, which was surprisingly hard for a 5 year old.

One snowball impacted on Artemis' chest, the next directly on his forehead, that was enough to knock the teenager out.

_The ultimate humiliation, _Artemis thought, _Knocked out by a snowball..._

He collapsed on the ground in a heap.

XxXxXxXxXx

Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling in the not so far away distance.

A grey attack vehicle approached the area where foursome fought.

A very nasty looking machine gun with snowballs loaded in it was pointing towards the the recently demolished wooden attack vehicle.

Of course, no person owned such a vehicle, other than Butler himself.

He drove the very intimidating vehicle while Juliet manned the snowball turret.

"Here we go Dom!" she called, "Let's show these guys whose the real masters of the snowball war are!"

Butler nodded in agreement and floored the gas.

The grey vehicle sped into battle...

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly looked up just in time to see a hundred snowballs slam themselves into her small form.

"Oooof, Ow, OWW!" she yelled in pain as the many snowballs exploded on impact.

She was thrown forcibly onto the snowy ground by the many snowballs.

She looked up once again to see the grey vehicle drive quickly by her.

"Oh it's on." she muttered and stood up.

She pulled out her Neutrino 5000 from her pocket and shot a quick blast at the snow patch the grey vehicle was approaching.

The snow instantly melted just as the large hunk of metal drove on it, the vehicle was now effectively trapped, for a moment.

Holly pushed herself to her limits as she charged forward at the intimidating car.

She leapt onto the back of the vehicle, where the snowball turret rested, and was immediately slugged by a snowball.

Of course it was Juliet who had thrown the snowball.

Holly shook her face free of snow, quickly grabbed another snow grenade from her pocket and threw it on the snow turret.

Juliet lunged at Holly, with hands full of snow, she gave the LEP captain a snow face wash as the assault vehicle's wheels spun uselessly on the icy snow.

Suddenly, the vehicle shot forward at incredible speeds as the snow once again solidified.

Juliet manned the turret once more and aimed for Holly, who then jumped off the car.

"What the-?" she wondered as the snow grenade exploded covering the vehicle with snow and stopping it in it's tracks.

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly rolled through the snow roughly as the car sped away for a moment before stopping as the snow pile erupted from the snow grenade.

Her rolling then stopped next to a jammed catapult.

She slowly stood up and watched as the grey assault vehicle burst forth from the large pile of snow.

She stomped her foot in the snow in annoyance as the vehicle began to drive around the battlefield.

Then her vision stopped on the catapult in front of her.

"Perfect" she said aloud, unjammed the catapult and took aim.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Cliffhanger!**

**Wow, I'm finding it much easier to write 1000 word chapters every time.**

**Hmm, anyway how was this chapter?**

**I'm sorry if this is too much snowball wars for you, but i enjoy writing about snowball wars. :D**

**Okay, see you readers later!**

**-Housemech10**


	12. Chapter 12: The snow war part 2

**Hey readers!**

**How is your end of the world?**

**Assuming your alive, I'm going to make a bit of chit-chat...**

**Anyway, christmas is almost here, I'm so excited!**

**Alas, I'm not going to get my Xbox 360 until boxing day. :(**

**But still, school is out so I'm going to go on a story writing spree!**

**So I'm going to start a new series soon enough, titled "The meteorite" i think**

**You will have to read it find out what its about.**

**Okay, story time!**

Wars were not something everybody enjoyed.

However, there are different types of wars, such as Nerf gun wars, civil wars and snowball wars.

Holly Short was engaged in the latter war as she was in the middle of controlling a wooden catapult, about to fire a macintosh laptop sized snowball at her enemy's assault vehicle.

The vehicle belonged to Butler, the giant manservant of Artemis Fowl, in the back of the vehicle, stood a chain gun, not loaded with bullets, but rather, snowballs.

The person controlling the snowball loaded chain gun was Juliet Butler, Butler's younger sister.

Many people were engaged in this snowball war, such as Myles and Beckett Fowl, and Artemis Fowl himself, although he was unconscious.

Myles and Beckett were cowering under several layers of snow waiting for the scary assault vehicle and it's menacing chain gun to go away.

Back to Holly, she loaded another laptop sized snowball onto the catapult, pulled the big lever, and sent the giant snowball whizzing towards the intimidating car.

It impacted directly on the tire of the vehicle, and sent it spinning out of control, into a large pile of snow.

"Yes!" hissed Holly and dashed towards the trapped vehicle.

Around 20 seconds later, she was about 3 meters away from the car when suddenly, 50 snowballs blasted her face simultaneously.

Holly was quickly thrown to the ground.

The assault vehicle's tire spun fruitlessly for a few seconds, then caught sending the car whizzing by Holly.

Quick as a flash, she reached into her pocket and extracted a snow grenade, primed it, then chucked it at the racing vehicle.

It stuck to the back fender, made a loud beeping noise, then snow exploded violently out of it, covering the car in a 2 meters worth of snow.

The sound of swearing emanated from the pile of snow, when suddenly, a very agitated looking Butler and Juliet busted their way out of the mini snow hill.

Together, they scooped up several handfuls of snow, packed it together, and made what looked like the world's most perfect snowball for throwing.

In unison, they threw their snowballs at Holly, they both exploded on her right leg, causing a pain to flash throughout her leg.

She hissed at the pain, then dove beneath the snow.

Butler quickly made about 20 more snowballs in 30 seconds as Holly quickly approached his position.

Suddenly, a small hand shot of the ground, not targeting Butler, but Juliet, the hand grabbed her ankle and yanked her beneath the snow.

"Juliet!" cried Butler and dove at his quickly vanishing sister.

"I'll be fine Dom!" she shouted just as her head went under.

XxXxXxXxXx

A battle ensued under the deep snow, snowball after snowball was shoved in the human and elf's faces.

Soon Juliet's hands shot of the ground and pulled her out of the the snow hole.

She scrambled to the assault vehicle, detached the chain gun off of it's stand, then dove back under the snow.

An amazed Butler stood there watching the scene in amazement.

"Wow" he breathed.

Shouts could be heard from deep beneath the ground.

"Eat snowballs elf!"

"How about some of this?"

"Missed me!"

"D'Arvit!"

Butler's brow shot up.

_Really? _He wondered.

XxXxXxXxXx

Somewhere else on the snowy battlefield, was a knocked out Artemis Fowl.

Suddenly his shot open.

"Where am I?" he said aloud.

He sat up and looked around.

_The snowball field, near the manor. _He thought.

He then saw an amused Butler standing maybe 10 meters away, next to a large hole in the snowy earth.

He walked over.

"Problems Butler?" he asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Come see for yourself."

Artemis peered into the hole and saw Holly and Juliet throwing fist after fist at each other.

Suddenly, the snow Artemis was standing on, collapsed, sending him careening into the fighting girls.

"Oh Frond" was the time he had to say, before being beaten senseless by the two females.

Butler didn't even help for a full two minutes before Artemis yelling, "Butler! I am in need of assistance here!"

Butler calmly walked over to the brawling trio and carefully extracted Artemis from the tornado of fists.

Artemis' face had a few small nasty bruises and a slightly fractured nose.

He was not amused.

"What a day." he sighed.

"We will have to wait until Holly is done so she can heal your nose." said Butler.

Artemis sighed again.

After 30 minutes of watching the girls brawl, Butler jogged over to one of the wooden catapults, dragged it over and loaded it with another giant snowball, and launched it at his Juliet and Holly.

Both of them yelled in surprise at the same time.

Butler peeked into the hole, "Enough brawling ladies."

The two of them climbed out of the hole.

Artemis walked up to Holly, "Would you be so kind as to heal my nose?" he asked politely.

"Sure" she said and pressed her slim fingers against his nose.

She closed her eyes, "Heal"

Blue sparks leapt out of her gloved fingertips and targeted Artemis' nose, instantly making it feel a lot better.

Artemis sighed in relief.

"Much better, thank you."

She nodded then began walking towards the manor.

Artemis followed soon after.

XxXxXxXxXx

**There we go, the next chapter!**

**Was it good or bad?**

**I very much appreciate your feedback!**

**-Housemech10**


	13. Chapter 13: Leroooy jeeenkins!

**Wassup my readers?**

**Anyway, this story has just hit 52 reviews!**

**WOW!**

**I'm so very glad!**

**Also, I just published a new story called "The meteor" so go check that out!**

**It's the more or less sequel of this story although this story has a few more chapters left.**

**On with the story!**

"Auughh!"

A large Floof! was heard as Artemis fell off his giant snow castle and into the meter high snow.

A very disgruntled Artemis emerged from the snow clutching a snowball.

The huge snow-war had once again continued when Beckett and Myles had not-so-secretly attacked the giant snow castle that belonged to Artemis and Holly.

Of course, Butler and Juliet were in on the action.

So far, the Butlers were conquering all.

Holly had been captured and shoved up to her throat in the snow where the massive Butler guarded.

Artemis of course wanted to rescue her, but was held up by Beckett and Myles with their once again reconstructed snow catapult arsenal.

And Juliet?

Well, she was stealthily creeping up on Artemis, about to dump a pound's worth of snow on him.

Artemis turned just in time to see snow cover his vision and enter his mouth.

"Whaff feh hehk?" he cried in a mouthful of snow.

Juliet, almost crying with laughter, ran back to were her brother held Holly hostage in the snow.

Artemis brushed the snow out of his face, then dived under the snow, tunnelling to where Holly was.

XxXxXxXxXx

A few moments later, Holly felt a small tug on her foot.

She shoved her head under the snow, and saw Artemis, a grin crossing his face.

"Shall we go?" he asked

Holly nodded, "Gladly."

Together, they tunnelled back to the snow castle, without attracting Butler's attention, and began stockpiling snowballs.

XxXxXxXxXx

Around half an hour later, the duo emerged from the snow castle, armed to the teeth with snowballs.

Of course, when they were one meter away from the entrance to the snow castle, Myles and Beckett's snow catapult arsenal assaulted them, painfully.

In seconds, they were completely covered by snow.

XxXxXxXxXx

"Beckett, wait here!"

"Why?" asked a very confused Beckett.

Myles smiled, "I've got an idea!"

Myles then dashed back to the manor, or more accurately, his lab.

Around a minutes time later, a flying object that was shaped as a mini fairy shuttle shot out of the manor's front door.

"LEEEROYYYY JEEENKINS" screeched Myles as his mini shuttle streaked towards Artemis and Holly's snow castle.

**(Internet meme alert)**

XxXxXxXxXx

Artemis and Holly were peacefully building several more pounds worth of snowballs when a smaller version of the fairy transport shuttle smashed through their castle, reducing it to mere rubble in seconds.

"WOO-HOO!"

Myles' scream was audible even from inside the shuttle.

"What. The. CENSORED." said Holly very quietly.

Artemis turned around and saw the elf, quivering in anger.

"Uhh Holly, it would be best if you calmed down now." he said hesitantly.

She socked him right there, in the face, hard.

"Oww!" he cried.

Holly then started yelling like a madman.

"ARRRGGGG!"

She rushed out of the now destroyed castle, and raced after the small shuttle.

After 2 minutes of running she actually caught up.

She leapt the impossible distance between her and the shuttle and latched on.

She crawled her way to the front of the shuttle and saw Myles through the glass.

"Hello" she said dementedly.

XxXxXxXxXx

Myles was calmly piloting the shuttle away from the battlefield when Holly appeared in the glass windshield.

"Ahh!" he cried.

Then her fist punched straight through the glass showering Myles in minuscule glass shards.

She dropped a silver orb into his lap then hopped nimbly off the shuttle.

Myles' eyes widened in fear.

"Holy cra-"

He did not get to finish his sentence before the snow grenade exploded,covering the small shuttle in snow and sending it on a crash course with the snowy earth.

XxXxXxXxXx

Artemis rushed to the shuttle crash landing sight, and pulled out an unconscious Myles Fowl.

Artemis felt for his round his jaw for a pulse, and luckily he found one, a relatively strong one too.

Suddenly his elf friend popped out of the ground next to him.

"Heya mud-boy." she said, the demented look in her eyes gone completely.

"Please do not ever attempt that ever again Holly, you could have severely injured him or yourself."

She looked down in shame, "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"All is forgiven, now let's get back to work."

He began the walk back to the battlefield while carrying Myles in his arms.

Holly followed behind.

XxXxXxXxXx

**That is all.**

**How was this chapter?**

**Good or bad?**

**Gimme reviews and idea please.**

**And go check out "The meteor" the more or less sequel to this story!**

**-Housemech10**


	14. Chapter 14: The present

**Hey readers, this is the final chapter of A very Fowl christmas.**

**I'm sorry to end off this story now, but it's had a good life.**

**Anyway, a message to Crazy crazy crazy Love, **

**I'm really very sorry that I can't comply to your request but this story is only supposed to be a humorous story, until possibly this chapter. :D**

**On with the story!**

Artemis placed around his room, trying to figure out the mystery that had been bothering him since christmas day.

Where was Holly's present?

He searched every corner of his room behind his bed, closet and even his computer.

Until, he searched the most obvious place.

Under his desk.

He found that steak sized present of his, the one he had been dying to give to Holly, behind some old boxes.

He rushed downstairs, where Holly was once again reading her book.

Just when he was about a meter away from the couch, he tripped on his own feet, landing on his face and sending his present tumbling towards Holly's feet.

Holly placed her book beside her and gave the present a good look.

"To Holly." she read aloud.

Artemis slowly got to his feet, then shook his head, clearing the spots from his vision.

"Where is the present?" he asked

"Right here."

Artemis looked at Holly, who then shredded the wrapping paper apart.

"Ahh!" Artemis cried.

The present was a pleasantly weathered book, the cover was leather and in the centre of the cover was...

A snow grenade.

"A snow grenade?" asked Artemis in shock

"Oooh d'arvit." said Holly

BOOM

The entire room was then covered in snow.

The duo then emerged from the snow.

"The place where the snow grenade was, was supposed to be a..."

Artemis then fell unconscious from tiredness.

"What was it?" Demanded Holly, "What was it?!"

After several beatings later, Artemis revealed what it was.

It was...

**The last bit of the story was eaten by a dog.**

**Hahah.**

**That part of the story shall never be revealed until I feel like it.**

**Also, I'm sorry that this chapter was short**

**How was this chapter?**

**Good or bad?**

**Let me know!**

**-Housemech10**


	15. Chapter 16 The quest for the ring Part 1

**S'up my readers?**

**If my updating skills have not pleased you, then I'm truly very sorry.**

**Anyway, I had an idea, the story is not over yet, therefore I will add many bonus chapters, such as the last one!**

**But, if the last chapter has not pleased you either, then feel free to let me know, cause I'm not exactly fond of the last chapter either.**

**The bonus chapters will include many random shorts and maybe a couple aftermaths of A very Fowl christmas.**

**This chapter is the aftermath of the story and you will find a very pleasant surprise when your done.**

**If you have stayed with this story from more or less the beginning, and if you have read the chapter before the last chapter then you will know what I mean.**

**The answer to this question:**

**What was Artemis really going to give Holly?**

**The answer shall be revealed, in a moment.**

**NOW, STORY TIME! OH DARN CAPS LOCK!**

Artemis Fowl was not in a good mood, for three reasons.

One, his brothers Beckett and Myles, had just raided his room and stolen pretty much all his scientific research concerning how to save the world from global warming.

Two, he had just discovered a website named Opal koboi rules, and it was filled to the brim with annoying jokes about him, and even worse, about 12 000 000 fairies visited the site everyday.

And three, his friend Holly had just left for Haven city.

Reason number three he hated about as much as he hated Opal Koboi, which added up to a freaking ton of hate.

He stormed out of his room and stomped down the stairs, towards the the living room, where he sat down and fumed.

Suddenly, the ostentatious ring on his index finger began buzzing, much like one of the new phones everyone seemed to be using.

He twisted the ring to the left, then held it up to his ear, "Hello?"

"Hi Artemis, it's Holly," Said Holly, "If suddenly half the manor explodes, don't be alarmed..."

Suddenly half the manor exploded.

Artemis screamed.

"It's only me." finished Holly.

The source of the explosion was actually a shuttle, a fairy shuttle to be precise.

Holly climbed out of the wreckage of the shuttle, "Your sneaky little brothers hi-jacked my shuttle!"

Artemis' eyes widened in surprise, "Really? How?"

Holly sighed, "The systems all said You are now going to crash into the snow, have a good day."

"How did you come to the conclusion of Myles and Beckett doing that?" Artemis asked.

"Well..." she started.

She pointed to the shuttle, "There was a small, emphasis on small, mark which they left."

On the left wing, was a large crudely made red circle out of spray paint, in the centre of the circle in purple letters were the words "Myles and Beckett were here".

"Oh." said Artemis.

Suddenly, the twins came rushing in.

"Oh crap!" yelled Myles, "I meant for it to crash into the snow, not our house!"

"My room!" screamed Beckett, who was staring at the remains of his action figures next to the shuttle.

Holly then looked at her hand, which was missing a circular band of metal.

"The ring!" she cried.

Artemis rushed over, "Where could it have gone?"

Suddenly Mulch appeared next to the shuttle clutching a small emerald coloured ring.

"My precious!" he said in a Gollum like voice then took off tunnelling into the ground.

"NOO!" screamed Artemis and Holly in unison

They rushed over to the freshly made hole, only to be met with a horrible stench.

"Uhg!" cried Holly, clutching her nose.

"Give me a snow grenade!" said Artemis.

Holly looked puzzled, "Why?"

"Just give it to me, I have a plan!"

Holly handed Artemis one snow grenade, he then threw it as hard as he could into the hole.

A faint scream of "Ice! I'm dying!" was heard from deep in the earth.

Artemis slowly lowered himself down the hole, only to find the snow, but no Mulch.

"He's gone!" Artemis shouted upwards.

Artemis swore he could have heard the faint sound of Holly going crazy for the twentieth time those two weeks.

Artemis slowly climbed up the dirt hole, only to find Holly, going on one of her destructive rampages, uprooting trees and stomping on some of the wildlife, which thankfully scurried away without harm.

Artemis approached her cautiously, "Holly, I-I think It would be good if you c-calmed down now."

She responded by punching him in the face, hard.

"When I find him, ohohoho, I'm going to rip him to pieces then stomp on them, and then shred them in a shredder." she muttered under her breath.

She grabbed a nearby shovel from it's resting place on the ground and tunnelled impossibly fast into the ground.

In minutes she was 20 meters in the ground.

"Here we go again." sighed Artemis and proceeded to grab a nearby robe, tie it to a tree, then carefully lower himself down the hole.

**The quest for the ring begins!**

**Well, I might call these few chapters the Fellowship of the ring, cause I love Lord of the rings.**

**Anyway, how was this?**

**I'm going to continue this when I can.**

**So yeah, thanks for reading!**

**-Housemech10**


	16. Chapter17 The quest for the ring Part 2

**Finally I'm updating.**

**If you are all wondering what the ring was, *Voice lowers to a whisper* It was an engagement ring.**

**On with the story!**

Holly continued to dig her way down into the earth, whilst Artemis carefully continued to lower himself down the ever growing hole.

Holly was muttering about things she was going to do to Mulch when she found him, such as torture him, make him get covered in snow, and worst of all, make him watch Barney on repeat for twelve hours straight.

"Uhh Holly?" Asked Artemis, "Would you be so kind as to slow down your digging process?"

"No." she grumbled.

Artemis shrugged his shoulders, which is a feat when your slowly lowering yourself into hole using a rope.

Suddenly, the earth below Holly gave way, causing her to be the first person ever, to fall into Haven city.

Then Artemis' rope snapped.

"Why does this always..."

He never got to finish that sentence.

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly skydived into the central plaza of Haven city, She realized that if she did not halt her falling soon, she would be dead and flat as a pancake on the cement.

She plucked her Neutrino 5000 from it's holster on her belt and shot a wing pack off of a sprite who was too lazy to fly himself.

The pack went whizzing towards her, she snatched and attached it to the wing rig on her back.

She spun around and saw Artemis fall past her.

After using a complicated series of arm movements, her wings pointed her downwards and she shot after Artemis.

She latched onto his left hand safely lowered him and herself to the pavement below.

Many other fairies were giving them curious glances as they recognized the two famous heroes of Haven city.

"Where is Mulch?" she muttered to herself, glancing around at the many people that were looking at them.

Suddenly, her eyes located a dwarf that largely resembled Mulch Diggums, who was looking at a sign that was showing the new food restaurants all over the city.

She rushed over and tackled him to the floor and growled, "Give me that ring!"

Mulch looked up in surprise, then proceeded to kick Holly off of him then leap at the ground, disappearing in a whirl of dust, dirt and debris.

"Noo!" she cried as right then, a vole curry cart smashed into her knocking her unconscious as well as knocking her 50 feet back.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Sorry if this chapter was short, I'm tired from updating "The Meteor" and I need to sleep or ****something.**

**Gimme feedback on this chapter!**

**-Housemech10**

**-The giant house robot whose batteries are running low right now.**


	17. Chapter 18 The quest for the ring part 3

**Hey guys, I'm back, didja miss me?**

**Anyway to clear up a couple things, The Artemis in this story is 20-21 I think, the ring was just to add the slightest tinge of romance into this story, however, no mushy romance scenes shall be shown.**

**Since basically, this whole story was based on pranks, when Artemis and Holly hunt for Mulch, he will set some prank traps.**

**Also, now that they're in Haven, Foaly could possibly get involved, however, nothing shall be confirmed.**

**If my stories have been rather confusing, that's because I'm only a novice in story writing.**

**Well, sort of.**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

"Holly."

Captain Holly short clutched her aching skull, as she slowly opened her eyes and observed her surroundings.

"Hooooolly?" asked a very concerned Artemis, whose head occupied most of her line of vision.

"W-what happened?" the elfin captain asked.

Artemis put the smallest of smirks on his face, "You were hit by a cart transporting Vole curry."

"What?" she demanded.

"One of the most powerful things to put a little damper on the old ego, if I do say so myself."

Standing up, she more carefully looked around.

They were still in the main plaza, although, slightly farther away from the centre.  
Many people were still walking around, though not as much as before Holly was knocked unconscious by the runaway Vole curry cart.

"How long was I out?" asked Holly out of pure curiosity.

Artemis scratched his chin, "About an hour or so."

Holly's eyes widened in shock, "Mulch would be miles from here by now!"

Artemis smirked, "Do not be so alarmed, I have attached a tracker to his foot, while you were incapacitated by the cart."

"Then where is he?" demanded the captain .

"About..." Artemis quickly consulted his super-phone, "Oh, he's on the other side of the city, a new restaurant to be exact."

Holly menacingly cracked her knuckles.

"Lets go get him."

XxXxXxXxXx

Mulch Diggums, Ex-master fairy burglar, was currently eating at an illegal beef restaurant, located in an alleyway about 3 miles west of Haven central plaza.

Dwarves always had cravings for real meat, well, most of them anyways, which made it no surprise when there were always several dwarves around illegal meat restaurants.

This particular restaurant was named the _Greasy cow_, mainly due to the fact that it sold beef products, such as steak, hamburgers, hamburger soup and the house specialty, bacon wrapped steak, although the owner would be surprised to find that bacon does not come form cows.

Mulch happened to be one of the regular customers to turn up at the _Greasy cow_, mostly for nights when he and his business partner, Doodah Day, completed a mission from a client, or they caught a criminal.

Mulch was here on this day for he was celebrating one of the times when he actually managed to steal something from Holly short, his best friend.

"Ahh, this precious ring shall go fine on my living room mantle." sighed Mulch as he downed another steak burger.

Suddenly, an explosion erupted from the doorway of the _Greasy cow_.

"Ahh!" screamed Mulch and leapt to his feet.

"Mulch!" Yelled Holly as she charged at Mulch, while clutching her Neutrino 5000.

"Crap!" cried Mulch as he began to run away.

Just as Mulch was about to make it away, Holly snatched the back of his faux-leather coat and dragged him backwards.

"Now..." snarled Holly, "the ring."

"Umm.. How about no?" said Mulch as released a long held in fart, propelling him through another wall and out into Haven city.

"Uhg!" screeched Holly and pinched her nose, protecting her sensitive elf nostrils from the hideous dwarf fart smell.

Artemis strode up to the quivering elf.

"It seems our target has escaped."

Holly punched his arm hard, "Well of course he escaped you idiot! No thanks to you!"

Holly was about to break every bone in his pale face when suddenly a Vole curry cart smashed through the roof of the _Greasy cow _and crashed into Holly's small form, shattering several bones and knocking her unconscious.

"Well that was interesting." observed Artemis.


	18. Chapter 19 The quest for the ring part 4

**Hello my dear readers!**

**I am once again returning from the magical lands of Narnia to update this story!  
(Narnia doesn't have internet connection, sadly...)**

**Anyway, ignore that last comment about Narnia and now listen to me.**

**This story has recently hit 4000 views, HOLY SON OF DONUT THAT HAS RECENTLY INGESTED DYNAMITE, THEN EXPLODED VIOLENTLY, GIVING BIRTH TO MINI DONUTS.**

**So for a special treat for you guys, the next 5 people to review get their own OC, so review fools!**

**The OCs will make small appearances here and there, so here is the template for your OC.**

**Copy and paste this into your review if your one of the next five!**

**Name:**

**Species:**

**Gender:**

**Personality:**

**Equipment:**

**(Only fill in equipment if your character has a boss gun or an iPod or something like that.)**

**On with the story!**

Somewhere on the streets of Haven...

Artemis sat cross-leggedly on the concrete ground, 3 feet away from his companion, Captain Holly Short of the lower elements police.

Artemis was meditating, to clear his thoughts of all traces of things that did not make sense one bit, like that Vole curry cart that crashed through the roof of the _Greasy cow _restaurant and particularly violently knocked Captain short out.

That scene he decided, he would keep, just to tease Holly later on, when they were out of this mess.

Holly was still knocked out, blue sparks flying along her frame, healing any cuts, bruises and possibly broken bones that she had.

"Ung..." moaned Holly as she began to move about.

Artemis scooted over to her and gently grabbed her shoulder and shook it lightly, "Hooooolly"

She moaned again this time rolled over a bit and landed in Artemis' lap.

_Aww, _He thought, _Isn't that cute?_

Then, _Wait did I, Artemis Fowl the second, just use the word cute?_

He sighed, his mind was wandering again.

Suddenly, Holly's big hazel eyes shot open and she rolled off the pale boy's lap.

"Where are we?" she demanded, "And where is Mulch?"

Artemis sighed again, "You were knocked out by the most ridiculous thing ever, a vole curry cart, that smashed through the ceiling"

The elf's eyes grew wider than possible, "I was knocked out by _what_?"

"Second time, same thing, a vole curry cart."

Holly buried her face in her hands, "Ill never live this down."

"I've been knocked out by my twin brothers, that's even more embarrassing."

Holly stood up abruptly, "Shouldn't we be looking for Mulch?"

"True."

Together, the duo left the area in which they rested and continued their journey.

XxXxXxXxXx

Mulch was in his new apartment, which he acquired after tireless hours of working on his job, being a private investigator.

He and Doodah had finished several big jobs and had been raking in the dough ever since.

Mulch had purchased an apartment and several pounds worth of snack food, such as chips, which he got from the surface, steak, which he got from the _Greasy cow, _and a couple big couches, which he would sleep in.

The ring which he stole from Artemis and Holly, was sitting on his white coloured mantle, encased in a shiny glass case.

"Ah Mulch you old reprobate, you've done it again." he sighed as he eased himself onto his couch with a bag of potato chips and turned on the TV.

Suddenly his window exploded and in came the two people Mulch wanted to see the least, which in this case was Artemis Fowl and Holly short.

Mulch leapt off the couch and in a flash, doused the two intruders with potato chips, smashed the shiny glass case and snatched the ring, then began running.

Artemis and Holly looked at each other in disbelief and started chasing Mulch.

XxXxXxXxXx

Mulch crashed through his front door and started running down the hall, to where the elevators were.

Following him was Holly and Artemis lagging behind.

The dwarf arrived at the elevator panel and smacked the down button a couple times.

Holly was closing in on her target.

Mulch quickly turned around, unbuttoned his bum-flap and unleashed hell upon the elf and human.

Holly and Artemis said a couple things that are too rude to put in this story and shall be replaced by:

"D'ARVIT D'ARVIT D'ARVIT D'ARVIT!"

In all the commotion, Mulch disappeared into the freshly arrived elevator and smacked the 1st floor button, the door closed quickly.

Artemis' nostrils were giving him a headache with all the horrid stench covering the entire hallway.

"Quickly!" He wheezed "Into an elevator!"

He jammed his hand on the button and an elevator arrived.

The elf and human stepped inside gasping and panting for fresh, elevator air.

Then the door closed and Holly's claustrophobia kicked in.

She backed into a corner, her pupils huge, then began hyperventilating.

"Oh my" said Artemis and quickly rushed over to help.

He quickly pressed a finger on the button labeled with 19, the floor directly underneath them and the elevator lurched into action.

He put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, "There, there, be calm, you are safe now."

"Walls. Closing in. Need. Open space!" panted Holly.

The elevator doors dinged open and Holly almost trampled over Artemis in her rush to get out.

"Perhaps we should take the stairs this time." suggested Artemis as he calmly walked out of the elevator.

Holly nodded in agreement.

XxXxXxXxXx

Several flights of stairs later, the two found themselves on the bottom floor of apartment building.

The stepped out the front door and saw across the street, a fast food restaurant, with a dwarf resembling Mulch coming out he was holding a bucket of french fries in his left hand and had a small nettle beer can in his other hand

The dwarf looked up and saw one of the most scariest things on earth.

An angry Holly.

All he could do before turning and running was say one thing.

"D'arvit."

XxXxXxXxXx

**The chase for Mulch continues!**

**So anyway press that review button so that you can get an OC of your own!**

**-Housemech10**


	19. Chapter 20: The OCs, have arrived

**"No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try."**

**Ahh good old Yoda, I'm re-watching the old Star-wars movies again, just to have some fun.**

**Anyways, the OC results are in!**

***Looks at paper* Our winners are...**

**Sarena kane by Sarena TheStoryTeller!**

**Becca Norma by EasyObsessor!**

**Kitty Eden by TheBigCat!**

**Toby Zana by Assozat!**

**And Finally, Norman Sulfix by RadioactiveCow!**

******Sorry Holly C Fowl and Bravo, better luck next time. (That next time may come sooner than expected!) **

******(I'm truly very sorry that I did not get to include your OCs)**

**An interesting fact: RadioactiveCow is actually one of my best friends, in real life.**

**The OCs will make their appearances in this chapter!**

**And, I was also thinking of making a story with all OCs, with their creator's permission of course.**

**On with the story!**

Norman Sulfix sat on one of Haven city's tallest buildings watching something very interesting . A large dwarf was being chased by a small elf and a human following up the rear.

_Thats odd, _thought Norman

The dwarf was actually Mulch Diggums, Ex-master thief and current enemy of Captain Holly Short, the elf who happened to be chasing him.

Norman could have gone down and helped his fellow dwarf, but that would have been a terrible idea, for he knew the kind of damage Captain Holly could inflict.

He shuddered. His brother, Titan Sulfix, had been arrested by Captain short years earlier. Titan had tried to escape and had received a horrible beating for his troubles.

Norman plopped his stolen LEP helmet onto his head. This helmet was considered obsolete by normal LEP standards but Norman had been adding upgrades ever since he had obtained it. The helmet had a special tracking device created by Norman himself. It would shoot a tracking pill (which he stole from Foaly's ops booth), that would attach itself to the victim and blend in with the victim's clothing. Norman's helmet could also set waypoints. Newer LEP helmets would have similar features but creating one was a lot easier and cheaper than trying to steal a new helmet.

Using a short but complicated series of winks and blinks, Norman set a blue coloured waypoint on the fleeing dwarf. Perhaps he could discover why this dwarf was fleeing from the elf. After setting the waypoint, Norman unbuttoned his bum-flap and leapt off the building.

When he was about 10 meters away from the concrete sidewalk, Norman let loose every bubble of gas in his body, safely lowering himself to the ground. He buttoned up his flap then started following the waypoint which was getting farther and farther away.

_Let's see what this dwarf is up too..._ Norman thought to himself as he dashed after Mulch.

XxXxXxXxXx

Deep in the alleyways of Haven was a small pixie named Becca Norma. Becca happened to be a troublemaker, or a prankster as some may call her. She loved playing tricks on the people that passed the alleyway she hung out in. Once she stole 40 dollars from a man's wallet but turned around and gave it to the orphans so they could have something special for their dinner that night. So far, her life had been pretty darn good.

One day, Becca was relaxing in her alleyway located near the Police plaza when she heard a very frantic scream. She hurried over to the entrance only to see a dwarf rush past, holding a bronze coloured ring with small acorns along the side. _Ooooh, that ring is very pretty, I wonder how it would look on my finger? _She thought in a moment of weakness.

Suddenly, a very angry looking elf in an LEP jumpsuit rushed by screaming at the dwarf, "Get back here!"

_Is that... _she wondered, ..._Captain Holly Short?_

At the tail end of the chase came the human. Becca then decided she would like to get a closer look at that ring so she got up to follow. Before she could take a step, a dwarf wearing an LEP helmet brushed past her. _Geez_, she thought..._they should install a light here_. Becca dashed off as fast she could, which was actually extremely fast for such a small thing.

**(Author's Note: Was Becca not to your liking EasyObsessor? Let me know if not.)**

XxXxXxXx

Further ahead of the group, there happened to be a shop named TechnologyRus. The shop was run by a centaur named Kitty Eden. TechnologyRus sold many technological marvels, which were all Kitty's own design. She had invented several computers, V-gloves and V-Helmets and even a few gaming consoles and sold them by the truckload.

Kitty also created her own personal tablet, which she named the MyPad 5, the successor of her MyPad 4. She was just adding the finishing touches to her brand new MyPad 6 when she heard a commotion outside the shop.

She walked over to her storage closet, which she kept in her workshop, and extracted a water-gun. However, this water-gun was heavily modified to be able to hold corrosive acid.

She strapped the water-gun to her back and grabbed her MyPad 5 since the MyPad 6 was still in development. Kitty clopped outside and saw a dwarf rush past her shop, followed by an angry elf in an LEP jumsuit. Following the elf was an angry human, and following the human was another dwarf and in pursuit of that dwarf was a small pixie.

As the pixie was about to rush past her, Kitty reached out and snatched the back of the pixie's shirt and pulled her back.

"Hey!" Cried the pixie, "Lemme go!"

"Why are these people after that dwarf?" Asked Kitty.

"I honestly have no clue," responded the Pixie, "But he had this strange ring, I'm determined to find out what it is."

"Hmm"

"Well since we're here, what's your name?" asked the Pixie.

"I'm Kitty" said the centaur.

The pixie nodded, "I'm Becca."

Kitty smiled, "Nice to meet you Becca."

Becca looked back at her escaping target, "I don't think Ill be able to catch up."

Kitty pondered that. "Hop on my back."

Becca did as told.

"Hold on tight." commanded Kitty.

Kitty galloped after the dwarf with a speed that would have shamed many athletes.

The chase was on!

**(A/N: ThBigCat, If you did not enjoy my representation of Kitty, feel free to let me know.)**

XxXxXxXxXx

Sarena Kane was not your average fairy, actually, she wasn't even your average elf.

Her fairy blood had been tainted by a particularly stubborn bit of human blood, making her a hybrid. Sarena had been considered a bit of a freak since most fairies hated mud men but during the Goblin rebellion it was a human named Artemis Fowl that saved the day. Since then, fairies thought twice before harassing Sarena.

Sarena had two longswords in her possession, which really belonged to one of the Berserkers of the original magic circle. These swords were enchanted and could cut through almost anything, save a few metals.

Sarena was in the middle of cleaning her blades when a dwarfish scream came through the walls of her house. She quickly slotted the longswords into twin scabbards on her back. She stepped outside of her home and saw a most peculiar sight. Running past her was a dwarf being chased by an angry elf, followed closely by a human in a suit, another dwarf and pulling up the rear was a pixie riding on a centaur.

Her jaw dropped to almost comical levels.

She jumped from her front porch and onto the street below and decided to see where everyone was going.

**(A/N: Sarena TheStoryTeller, let me know if you did not like this representation of Sarena Kane.)**

XxXxXxXxXx

Toby Zana, elf genius, was in the middle of fixing his latest defence weapon. His mittens of mass destruction had a faulty trigger finger and didn't shoot the Neutrino blasts as accurately as they once did. Toby wanted that fixed up fast before he met up with his next target - a dwarf named Norman Sulfix. Sulfix was responsible for stealing a helmet that was LEP property and they wanted it back...now.

Toby was actually part of the LEP, he was one of the more recent recruits but, inventing his own equipment did speed up the job quite a bit.

Toby smiled as he put the finishing tweaks on his gloves when suddenly some movement on the streets below caught his eye. The elf jumped up onto the ledge of his rooftop balcony and saw the very target he was hired to capture. There was Sulfix running in what looked to be a parade of misfits.

Quickly Toby jumped down and onto the back of his target.

"Ooof!" Norman cried as he was toppled to the ground.

Toby, summersaulted off his back and stood up to face him. Both palms stretched out before him in a threatening pose, one to Norman and the other to oncoming traffic.

"Don't move." Toby commanded.

Kitty skidded to a halt with Becca on her back.

"Ooooh boy." the centaur mumbled.

A green circle lit up on Toby's glove as he sent a piercing gaze at Norma.

XxXxXxXxXx

Kitty stood as still as stone.

"Becca" Kitty whispered.

"Yes?"

"Grab that water-gun on my back."

"Why?" asked Becca.

"Just do it."

Becca slowly removed the modified Acid water-gun and handed it to Kitty. Kitty squirted a thin stream of the corrosive liquid at Toby's glove, causing it to spark.

The bounty hunter glared and pointed his other hand at Kitty and Becca, then extended his fingers, causing a plasma beam to shoot out and go streaking towards the pixie and centaur.

Kitty ducked low enough for the shot to go sailing over their heads.

As Toby's attention was no longer on his target, Norman quickly unhinged his jaw and chomped his way down into the ground. He then reappeared several moments later, behind Toby, in a fighting stance.

Then Sarena arrived, swords unsheathed and ready to rumble.

XxXxXxXxXx

A fearsome battle ensued, involving kicking punching, slashing and some shooting. Kitty was doing her best not to get blasted or sliced into tiny pieces, but realized that if this battle did not end soon, everybody would be dead. She was about to yell "Stop!" when somebody else beat her to it.

"Stop!" cried Becca.

Everyone froze and turned to look at the tiny pixie.

"Can't we all just be friends?" asked Becca.

Everyone looked at each other awkwardly.

Kitty put down her weapon, "I can agree to that statement."

Sarena sheathed her swords, "As can I"

Toby looked reluctant, but when Kitty flashed him a fearsome glare, he slipped off his mittens of mass destruction.

And Norman dropped his fists to his sides.

"Okay, now that that problem is settled, who are you guys?" asked Becca as politely as possible.

Toby was the first one to answer.

Then Norman.

And finally, Sarena.

**(Assozat, PM if you did not enjoy Toby Zana)**

XxXxXxXxXx

Half an hour later...

The large group continued to run down the path.

Becca had retold her seeing the ring and wanting to know more of it, everyone else had agreed to help find the ring and find out why Mulch was being chased by the famed captain, Holly Short and the human, Artemis Fowl.  
Norman was currently leading the way as his hemet still had a waypoint set on Mulch.

It was the start of a beautiful adventure.

However, Toby was still reluctant to go adventuring with a criminal.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Finally done!**

**That was longer than my normal chapters.**

**Whew.**

**How were the OCs?**

**Gimme some feedback!**

**-Housemech10**


	20. Chapter21 Gonna stop posting for a while

**Finally updating!**

**I'm not going to chatter on like I usually do, so only 1 thing to say.**

**If you enjoy my stories, then go check out my new story, In another time.**

**If you have read the first Artemis Fowl book (you probably have) then you probably remember how Artemis kidnapped Holly.**

**Well, in my story, imagine that Artemis and Holly swap roles, so Holly Short is kidnapping Captain Artemis Fowl of the lower elements police.**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

Captain Holly short was exhausted.

Why?

Because she had been running for two hours straight.

Why was she running?

She was chasing Mulch Diggums. (Theres no surprise there)

And why was she chasing Mulch?

Because he had stolen a ring.

A very precious ring.

A very precious ring that belonged to Holly.

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly continued her seemingly-forever chase after Mulch, although she was close to collapsing on the pavement and fall asleep.

Artemis was a bit better off than she was, mainly due to his long legs, which allowed him to stay behind Holly without too much trouble.

Captain short sluggishly reached for her utility belt and removed her Neutrino 5000, then fired a good 5 second burst at Mulch, or more precisely, his hand.

The shot missed by a good 2 meters and wrenched a chunk of pavement out of place.

Holly wheezed to a stop, and Artemis stopped beside her.

"We...huff huff...can't...huff puff...let...him...get...away..." wheezed Holly as she attempted to rest her tired legs.

Suddenly a large crowd of fairies involving an elf with twin longswords, a pixie that was riding atop a centaur, another elf with strange grey gloves, and a dwarf wearing an LEP helmet, rushed by.

"Who..where...they?" asked Holly, who was still wheezing.

"I'm not entirely sure..." said Artemis, scratching his head.

Artemis spotted a nearby goblin with bwa kell tattoos covering his face, riding atop a hover scooter.

The human rushed over and kicked the goblin off the scooter, than piloted the scooter over to Holly, who hopped aboard.

"Onwards!" Artemis cried.

He revved the hover scooter and it shot after the crowd.

The fallen goblin scratched his scaly head. "What was that?" he hissed.

XxXxXxXxXx

Mulch looked behind him, Holly wasn't chasing him anymore, thank goodness, but she had been replaced by a crowd of fairies.

_ooooh D'arvit _Thought Mulch

The elf with the strange gloves rushed to the front of the group, his grey gloves glowed green and an orange beam shot out and stunned Mulch.

Mulch did several flips and landed on his back, smoking.

The rest of the crowd arrived and shot angry glares at Mulch.

_As a famous dwarf once said, we shall fight them, WITH FARTS. _Thought Mulch

Mulch released the mother of all farts and blasted himself to safety, which was on the other side of the city.

However, the rest of the crowd was in obvious discomfort, as the fart was as disgusting as hell.

XxXxXxXxXx

**Sorry that this was so short, I'm going to stop releasing chapters for a while, I'm experiencing the return of the writer's block.**

**So for a while, I'm probably going to write "In another time" so sorry.**

**-Housemech10**

**-The sorry giant house robot.**


	21. Chapter 22: The Mulch-Troll

_**House Mech unit online**_

_**Power cells at 87%**_

_**Initiating writing operations**_

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_**Begin writing...**_

Mulch Diggums, master thief, was tunnelling below Haven city, the dirt he chomped down on was warm, probably because he was a few hundred meters away from the core of the planet. Mulch took another huge chomp, and started choking.

Violently.

"HACK HEK HOOK" coughed Mulch as a small diamond was ejected from his ginormous mouth and onto the tunnel floor.

"Ooooh! Precious diamond!" Mulch whispered as his eyes grew large and sparkly.

He snatched the diamond and stuffed it in his pants pocket, then continued to tunnel.

Suddenly, there was a large booming sound from behind Mulch. The dwarf turned around and saw a troll, a big one, no, a HUGE one. The troll took one step, then another, and another, and another, and soon the troll was rocketing down the tunnel at an impossibly fast pace. Mulch tunneled upwards, he was tired, so there was no possibility that he could really take on that troll without collapsing the tunnel, which he did not really want to do.

He emerged in what looked like and actually was, Foaly's Ops booth, where Foaly himself demonstrating his new invention to Commander Trouble Kelp.

"And now if I point the 'Mixer' over here and fire..." said Foaly without looking behind him and spotting Mulch.

Mulch felt something hard bump him in the behind.

Then the worst thing possible happened.

Foaly fired the mixer, which was supposed to hit a rabbit and a frog that were sitting peacefully on Foaly's desk, but instead hit Mulch, who was sitting on the troll's head which was still inside Mulch's tunnel.

Mulch spasmed, then started emitting bright light, which lit up the entire Ops booth, then started to rise up into the air, with the troll, also emitting bright light, rising up with Mulch.

The two beings slid into each other, then there was a giant explosion.

BOOM

Foaly and Trouble were blasted backwards, out of the Ops booth and smashed into a white wall with an LEP insignia on it.

The monster Foaly had accidentally created, was massive, had giant tombstone sized teeth, enormous claws dripping paralyzing venom, giant dreadlocks on it's fur and worse, it's bum was showing.

"I AM THE MULCH-TROLL!" Roared the beast, "PREPARE TO BE EATEN DISGUSTINGLY!"

The Mulch-troll stomped over to Foaly and Trouble and was about to shove them into it's giant gullet, when Artemis and Holly literally came crashing through the roof on a hover-scooter.

"Get away from my friends!" yelled Holly and fired her Neutrino 5000 pistol.

The Mulch-troll roared in agony as the beam tore through it's fur and scorched the flesh beneath. It swung it's massive shaggy arm at Holly...and missed, instead creating a big crater in the LEP building's floor.

Artemis maneuvered the hover-scooter and rammed it into the back of the Mulch-troll's skull.

"HOW DARE YOU INJURE THE MULCH-TROLL!" screamed the Mulch-troll and swung it's giant clawed hand at the small scooter.

Surprisingly, the troll hit the hover-scooter and sent it careening into the ground, Holly's Neutrino pistol spiralled away after the crash.

The Mulch-troll stomped over and lowered it's shaggy head towards Artemis and Holly, it was about to dine on their innards when...

"GET AWAY FROM THEM!" shouted a voice, and along with that voice came a steam of hissing green acid, the acid splashed the troll directly in the face, causing the troll to writhe and howl in pain.

The voice and acid stream belonged to the centaur known as Kitty Eden, who was holding her modified acid filled water gun, followed by a small pixie named Becca Norma, who was followed by two elves, one who held twin longswords in each hand was known as Sarena kane and the other elf who was wearing a crapload of LEP gear was known by the name of Toby Zana.

The floor directly behind the Mulch-troll exploded, revealing a newcomer who happened to be Norman Sulfix.

Norman pulled his illegally gotten LEP helmet off of his head and clocked the troll over the head with it.

"Die, you abomination!" yelled Norman and continued to pound the angry Mulch-troll. The others quickly ran at the beast and beat the living [Censored] out of it.

"IMA FIRING MA-" yelled the Mulch-troll, but was cut off by his butt sending millions of pounds of farts out, quickly levelling the LEP building, and about 3 other homes that belonged to fairies, the others were blown back about 20 meters.

XxXxXxXxXx

Things started to go downhill after the LEP building was levelled.

The Mulch-troll was now out in the open and found out that he could jet-pack around by farting, which sounds terribly stupid. The gang was getting tired from all this chasing after the Mulch-troll, and were also getting tired from it's smelly farts. Another horrible thing was that about 13 innocent fairies had gotten paralyzed because the Mulch-troll had slashed them with it's claws.

Holly emerged from the remains of the LEP building.

"Find anything?" asked Kitty Eden.

"Naw, except this!" said Holly and pulled out what had to be the biggest Neutrino bazooka ever made.

Foaly, was beside Kitty, said, "That there is the Neutrino bazooka 250, the first of it's kind!"

Becca appeared on the scene, "Lets go blow that sucker up!" she shouted enthusiastically.

Holly stomped over to where Artemis, Norman, Toby and Sarena were distracting the troll by either shooting with deadly lasers, or throwing rocks at it or slashing it with swords.

"Stand back!" Holly commanded and proceeded to pull the trigger of the giant Neutrino bazooka 250, but nothing happened.

"What!?" everyone cried.

Holly looked at a screen positioned on the side of the Neutrino bazooka 250 and saw a flashing low battery icon.

"D'arvit." swore Holly.

Norman rushed over and pulled out the battery of his LEP helmet and held the small battery out to Holly, who took the small thing and jammed it inside the Neutrino bazooka 250.

Taking careful aim at the Mulch-troll, Holly fired the weapon, a huge laser, as big as your typical everyday fridge, erupted from the bazooka, and in spite of the million-to-one odds, it was at that exact moment that Artemis got in the way of the beam, while throwing rocks at the Mulch-troll.

The beam blasted Artemis over the Mulch-troll's head and he went flying, eventually hitting the concrete wall of a building with a dull thud.

"Artemis!" screamed Holly, dropped the Neutrino bazooka 250 and rushed past the Mulch-troll, despite it slashing talons and teeth, she made it.

The mud-boy Holly had come to know and love, (More like, uhm, yeah I dunno) didn't look to good, his skin was smoking and some of his hair had been burned off, his suit had been reduced to so much burned cloth. Holly hugged his limp form and started crying.

In the background, the Mulch-troll was advancing on Artemis and Holly, it's eyes filled with a craving for flesh.

As the Mulch-troll was about to eat our heroes yet again, The Mulch-troll found itself looking directly into the barrel of a Neutrino 5000 pistol, it did not have one clue how. Holly looked behind her and saw Artemis, holding her Neutrino 5000, and staring hard into the eyes of the abomination that Foaly had accidentally created.

The charred Artemis smiled his signature vampire smile, and said, "The lasers send their greetings"

That superbly awesome human, pulled the trigger, and the Mulch troll went flying.

Holly gaped at Artemis.

And all he could do was smile.

_Like a boss_

XxXxXxXxXx

_**Writing complete**_

_**Power cells at 62%**_

_**Initiating Author comments...**_

**I'm baaack!**

**Anyway, this is it, the final chapters of AVFC, so if you enjoyed this great long chapter, leave a nice review, if you did not enjoy this long ****chapter, then get the heck out of here.**

**Oh yes, and Captain Holly Sparrow? I think you should be ****Captain Holly Sparrow.**

******So, something cool, Go to my profile and there shall be a poll for which story I should do next, so go vote!**

******Your giant **mechanical house friend 

**House Mech**

**-Who is creating steak ****sandwiches for all his readers, and maybe cookies too.**


	22. Chapter 23 The Mulch-troll gets exploded

_**Power cells at 56%**_

**_Initiating urgent author comments..._**

**Sigh, this is it, SECOND TO LAST chapter of AVFC, so rev up those reading fryers, cause I know you sure are hungry for this chapter, I think..., but whats crazy is that this story isn't even really about christmas anymore, so...thanks for letting me know that reviewer whose name I just forgot! Oh wait, Nihlo! That was it.**

**And we have just reached 121 reviews! YAY! However, not many people are voting on my poll, it ****doesn't matter if you don't vote there, I know you guest guys can't vote, but just post a review with your vote!**

**Please.**

_**Initiating **_**_writing operations..._**

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**_Beginning writing..._**

Things were quite blurry in the eyes of the Mulch-troll, so blurry in fact that everything was just dull grey outline.

The beast rubbed it's eyes with it's shaggy forearms and the blurriness cleared up instantly, which brought it to the fact that it's hairy stomach was on fire.

"AUUUGH!" screamed the Mulch-troll and frantically slapped the flames so that they would go out.

After around 2 minutes of pure slapping and pain, they flames were doused. The Mulch-troll stood and spotted the elf who had shot him with a strange gun, the troll lumbered over to the elf and attempted to smash her, but missed, as expected.

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly strafed around the Mulch-troll, while blasting away on her Neutrino 5000, each shot removed a good portion of whatever it touched, nails, skin, fur, whatever. She had assigned control of the Neutrino Bazooka 250 to Toby Zana, on account of him being apart of the LEP. Toby was trying to get a clear shot at the Mulch-troll, however, Holly, and whoever else was combating the Mulch-troll was getting in the way.

Kitty Eden was practicing her proficiency in the art of Nine sticks on the Mulch-troll, which makes you kinda feel bad for the abomination just a little bit, as getting kicked by horse hooves hurts quite a lot.

The Mulch-troll took another swing at Holly, who ducked below the claw and put a blast into the Mulch-troll's chest. The abomination stomach rumbled and suddenly, it started farting quite loudly, then it began hovering off the ground.

"Hmm," said Foaly who was residing far away form the battle, "I wonder how odd it is to see a troll farting?"

As the hovering Mulch-troll was about to take a swipe at Kitty, Becca Norma hopped onto Kitty's back, grabbed the Kitty's modified water gun out of Kitty's hands, and squirted a long thin stream of acid at the Mulch-troll's face, causing the beast to crash down to the ground and scream at agonizingly loud tones. Artemis chucked a couple rocks at the Mulch-troll's face, the beast immediately stopped screeching.

"FOOL!" roared the Mulch-troll, "ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY THROW ROCKS AT THE MULCH-TROLL TO DEFEAT IT"

The Mulch-troll turned around and spat dwarf phlegm at Artemis, effectively trapping him for a small amount of time.

Suddenly, a giant laser hit the Mulch-troll from nowhere, sending it head-over-heels into the air.

"They defeat it with lasers." completed Toby who had just fired the Neutrino bazooka 250

The Mulch-troll crash-landed on a small house a few meters away, the house was reduced to so much splinters and twisted metal, an angry gnome rushed over to the broken house and started shouting and swearing at the Mulch-troll. The giant beast ate the angry gnome a few moments later.

The Mulch-troll approached our heroes again, it's fur was almost entirely gone, save a few patches here and there, some of his tombstone teeth had been knocked out and one of it's giant fingers was bent at an odd angle.

The Mulch-troll roared loudly, then turned around and unleashed the mother-of-all farts on our heroes, which as you can tell by the name, is extremely unpleasant.

"Uhg!" cried everyone and clutched their aching noses, save Toby Zana, who was currently aiming his giant Neutrino bazooka at the Mulch-troll.

"HA! QUIVER IN FEAR BEFORE THE MULCH-TROLL'S FARTS!"

Suddenly, another laser seared the Mulch-troll's back, causing the gigantic beast to quiver and screech in pain.

"Irony strikes again..." muttered Norman Sulfix and face palmed.

The Mulch-troll was about to swing it's giant talon at our heroes for the umpteenth time, when...

Holly jumped on the back of the Mulch-troll's head, planted two objects, one that was a snow grenade, the other a regular grenade. Holly jumped off and ran like the wind, the Mulch-troll oblivious to what had just been planted on it's almost bald head.

BOOM

A large cloud of smoke covered the area, making it almost impossible to see.

When the smoke cleared, one very bruised and smoking Mulch was sitting on a snow pile and one very bald troll was neck deep in the snow pile.

The smoking Mulch coughed, and ejected one very pretty emerald ring, and one very shiny diamond.

"The ring!" cried Artemis and Holly simultaneously and dived for the pretty ring, unluckily they clonked heads as they both dived for the same object and everyone knows what happens when two people dive for the same thing.

The rest of the gang dove for the shiny diamond.

After several minutes of brutal brawling, Becca jumped out, clutching the small and shiny diamond. Suddenly, a hoof shot out of the group of brawling bodies and hit the diamond in Becca's hand, causing it to go sailing into the air, and fly down into an open sewer grate.

"NOOOOOOOO!" cried Becca and rushed over to the open sewer grate and attempted to spot the diamond, no such luck.

Sarena, Toby, Norman and Kitty walked over and looked sadly at the open sewer grate, all hopes of being rich washed away.

XxXxXxXxXx

Holly carefully slid the ring onto her slender finger, and laughed a laugh of pure joy.

"We've gotten the ring back!" she said to Artemis.

Artemis only smiled.

The troll started to stir and Artemis jumped to his feet, "Holly, shall we go? Because the troll is starting to stir."

Holly nodded and quickly got to her feet, together, the dynamic duo rushed away from the scene, leaving Kitty, Norman, Toby and Sarena to deal with the killing machine otherwise known as a troll.

_Heeheeheehee_

XxXxXxXxXx

_**Power cell at 43%**_

_**Initiating author comments...**_

**Well, that was the second to last chapter, so how was it? ****Leave a review please.**

**Your giant mechanical house friend**

**House Mech**


	23. Chapter 24: The Zoidberg crab

_**Initiating writing operations...**_

**Oh get lost! *Kicks Operating system***

**Okay, so it's the freaking last chapter, so you guys better enjoy it!**

**And I see that a few of you have been voting :) So I see that we have a tie between "Fowl fails" and "A very Fowl spring break"**

**Even though we have a tie, I will chose which story to write.**

**And I chose to write, AVFSB first, and perhaps Fowl fails later on.**

**That will please you very much I hope.**

**Okay operating system, you can have the spotlight...**

_**Thank you, now where was I?**_

_**Oh yes, Initiating **_**_writing operations..._**

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"So, exactly where are we?" Asked Artemis

Holly scratched her head, "I have no clue"

Artemis and Holly were stranded in a large lush green forest, whilst the two were flying in a shuttle back to Fowl manor, a very idiotic bird had decided it had had enough of life and chucked itself into the shuttle's engine, causing the shuttle to crash-land in this...strange forest.

The shuttle had been reduced to so much scrap metal and burning engines, half the shuttle's pieces were lodged halfway into a particularly large tree, an engine had even dug itself a meter deep hole, which served as it's final resting place.

Holly angrily punched a metal plate stuck in the ground, the plate whiplashed and sent Holly flying backwards.

"Doing such actions will not aid us in our endeavour to figure out where we are." said Artemis cooly.

Suddenly, Holly left eye, which housed her natural hazel eye and not her ice blue eye, twitched violently.

The elf turned and pointed her Neutrino 5000 at Artemis, "I DONT CARE IF IT DOESN'T HELP!"

Artemis backed up into a tree and thought: _My god, she's gone insane hasn't she?_

Holly advanced, still brandishing her Neutrino pistol and left eye still twitching dementedly, she fired her pistol at Artemis' head, thankfully he ducked and the shot burned the tree instead.

Artemis started running.

Sadly, Butler wasn't there to save him this time.

"FOWL!" screeched Holly and started running after Artemis as fast as a human car.

_This is it isn't it? _Thought Artemis _She's really going to kill me_

Suddenly, large tree root tripped Artemis, sending him spinning onto the ground.

Holly stood above him, wearing a smile that seemed too jolly for the situation they were in.

She slowly lowered her Neutrino to his head...but suddenly a large crimson red crab jumped onto Artemis' chest and started saying something.

"WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP!" cried the crab as it's many leg danced merrily.

"Shut up!" shouted Holly and slapped the crab.

The crab seemed to darken, then launched itself at Holly and pinched her ear, and everyone knows that elf ears are sensitive. Very sensitive.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Screamed Holly and started running around, leaving Artemis to try and figure out what the heck just happened.

The crab unlatched from Holly's ear and landed back on Artemis' chest, "WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP"

Holly stomped over again, and pulled from thin air, THE NEUTRINO BAZOOKA 250!

"Say goodbye crab! And Artemis!" cried Holly.

Suddenly, a hover bike carrying Foaly dropped from the sky and landed next to Artemis and Holly...and the crab.

"Stop the madness!" cried Foaly and brandished his Mixer device like a cutlass.

Just right then, Mulch emerged from a tunnel in the ground, with a troll hot on his heels.

"Hey guys, bye guys." he said and started running.

Everyone's eyes widened at the troll, but just at that moment, the crab jumped at Foaly's hand that held the Mixer, the crab took the device and fired it at...Holly...and the troll?

Umm...

...

...

...That crab sure is mean...

...

...

Anyways, Foaly, who had seen what had happened when Mulch was combined with the troll, pedalled furiously on his hover-bike and sped away.

Holly started emitting bright white light, then started floating up into the air, the troll did the same.

The two beings slid into each other, then the bright light disappeared .

What stood there was a most terrifying sight.

The beast resembled the Mulch-troll, but looked different, for example, it did not have a gaping maw with tombstone sized teeth, it also did not show it's behind. The beast's fur was auburn coloured, it's arms were composed of pure muscle, and even scarier, one of it's eyes was hazel and the other ice blue.

The beast, which the author thinks was a female, roared.

"PUNY ARTEMIS, TIME TO DIE!" yelled the Holly-troll, whose name is even more frightening than the Mulch-troll.

Artemis got up and ran for his life, the Holly-troll was hot on his heels.

But, thats a story for another time...

THE END

_**Story finished**_

_**Initiating author comments...**_

**Thank you Operating system, anyway this is the end of this story, and I ****sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter and hate me for putting that cliffhanger in there. ****Thank you for staying with me on this crazy and amazing journey through this story.**

**Your giant mechanical house friend**

**House Mech**


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